Check out the latest changelogs for version 8.1.5

Happy content creation!

#Peertube #Fediverse #Updates

Having toyed with the idea of a new MMORPG to play, rather than just be tied to Zenimax’s Elder Scrolls Online (ESO) and other various reasons, I finally, after chatting with Wuufu from the Hachyderm.io Mastodon server, went into the PlayStation store and reviewed my options. Being presented with five options was confusing enough, was Standard the right one, should I opt for the Seraph Starter Edition? I knew that starting off with Heroic and Mythical was not the way forward for someone testing the water, then the demo version caught my eye. Perfect, I thought, I’m still likely to buy the game, but on the off chance it doesn’t feel right, then this is a good option.

So I waited for the sizeable download to complete, this was late in the evening, so I resisted the urge to jump straight in and the next morning, started my first character – Thaemina, the Sea Witch, as close to my Bosmer Arcanist as I could manage, but this time I was hoping to head out to sea.

And I was off, failing dismally at combat through the opening tutorial as this is very different to ESO, I haven’t yet figured out if I can make some of the text larger, as for the displayed button combos for attacks would be much easier to read before I start pressing and hoping for the best (after a week I think I had the two base attack buttons down). I am still working on the ESO tactic of it gets too much, run away, take some potions, then head back!

Eventually Thaemina woke in present day, and then the real task of learning the interface began, oh boy! So many options (read as too many options) for harvesting, processing, crafting – yikes! This is going to take a while for me to get my head around the different menus, what goes on what method of quick access, how to access the wheel menus correctly. I worked out that there were various rewards, rather than presented on screen at log in, or directly when you level up, they are off in a menu, but some of these can come in handy. This did result in my usual RPG problem showing its face (mini game), inventory management, I just can’t seem to keep it under control, and then led to my discovery of the storage system, and another issue, remembering what is stored where and how to get to it if I am half a continent away?

After attempting to follow the main quest line for a while, I started playing with the conversation option, something I recognised, memories of playing Bethesda’s Elder Scrolls III Oblivion came flooding back, this I can handle, well as long as I can remember which order I put everyone in... Still figuring out what is required for each attempt, again I need to tinker with text size where possible.

A week in and I had progressed from the Western Guard Camp to Velia, decided that once I figured out how to buy a house, it would probably be here, with good access to the sea, and then moved onto Heidel. Much too fancy for a Sea Witch, but some interesting characters (and one who is on my hit list, I do hope they turn into a boss fight as I am looking forward to taking them down). Popped back to Velia to buy a house, got lost on how to even begin with furnishing, but there is plenty of time for that. Decided to try for some side quests, failed dismally when it came to some lost cats, just can’t seem to trigger the quest! Went for a ride along the north coast of Balenos, had cause to use the “escape” option, oh my word do I need this in ESO for when I go exploring and end up clambering down steep cliffs and then end up stuck and the game thinks your falling so unable to fast travel.

My thoughts after a week are:

• Yes it is gorgeous;
• The story line gets a bit weird sometimes but is okay, reading between the lines and using imagination helps; and
• It sometimes a bit jumpy/buggy, but then so is ESO and also anything built by Bethesda (not a fan girl per say, but I have serious hours and characters in ESO and Skyrim).

Merge Black Desert and ESO together, and I think you would have the perfect MMORPG.

Was I going to buy the full version once the demo period had ended? Yes, but this is where things get complicated, as the PlayStation Store decided I already had the version of the game, so I was unable to spend real money to continue playing. Cautiously chatted with PlayStation’s AI support chat, and to be fair it didn’t do too badly, and after a short while it decided that I need to chat to a human. This happened later in the day, case logged and then off to wait.

It took a couple of days, but received an initial answer back, their suggestion raised a question over whether I would still be able to access the character I had already created once the “fix” was carried out. This caused them to look at it again, and identify that this may not work and I still might not be able to purchase the game. A second option was given, which I will be trying out. But more searching online since has identified that Pearl Abyss is aware of an issue (11 March 2026), and is investigating this with PlayStation. This may mean that I am not alone and that a resolution wont be too far in the future.

For the time being it is back to Terraria as I was already on an ESO break, and read up more on how to get Thaemina ready for sailing and trading.

#Gaming #BlackDesert

So, I'm currently playing Shadow of the Tomb Raider on the highest difficulty level: Deadly Obsession. I'm doing this because I'm experimenting with friction in games. I'm still thinking about how I'm gonna tackle this topic, either with a blog post or a video, but I have thoughts about friction in games.

Modern (action) games are in it more for the spectacle than for actual challenge and for this reason, I've been playing the entire new Tomb Raider trilogy on their highest difficulty. Interestingly enough, the first one was still fairly straightforward, the second got a bit more challenging but this third one is giving me exactly the challenge I wanted. All three games have made it so you can only save at the campfires, completely removing checkpointing and manual saves. You die, and you get sent back to your last campfire save. This reminds me of the save crystals in the older Tomb Raiders games, specifically on PSX where you couldn't save manually. Shadow adds to this difficulty by taking away Lara's innate “detective vision” ability, where she can look through walls and spot enemies and this like. This makes enemy encounters a lot more tense, and I love that. They're challenges to overcome, and it's making me feel a lot more connected to the game. There's an item that gives you that sight back for a moment, but it's a consumable so I feel like that's a fair tradeoff.

Now, here's the thing. Shadow has been a bit rough around the edges with the placement of these campfires. I noticed it right at the start of the game, where you're thrown into a linear obstacle course with insta-death traps that went on for just a tad too long. I got worried there for a minute, but later segments weren't as grueling so I forgot about it.

But that's when the Eye of the Serpent came along.

This is another linear path, not only extremely long but also constantly broken up pace-wise. The trip towards the campfire wasn't that bad but it's what comes after that really grinded my gears. It took me maybe 15 attempts over 3 days to finally get on the other end of it.

Let me explain what happens. Just so I can get it out of my system.

You start at the campfire with your newly acquired shotgun and blast open a flimsy door. You then get one of those squeeze-through-narrow-opening animations that devs use to hide loading times. You know the ones, PS4 era games were horny for them. Then, there's a long crouching sequence. Slow, plodding, tension raising, that ends in a jump scare. Boo! you fall through the floor and fight a horde of animalistic natives. On this difficulty they can get you with just a few hits so there's no margin for error. Then, another crawling sequence followed by solving a waterwheel puzzle. Dive underwater to clear some debris, then spin the wheel and swim through. More walking, prevent getting skewered or shanked by a native, then a nasty jump and swing over spike pits. Better not die here, or get caught off-guard by Shadow's occasional unwillingness to get the jumping right, or you're roasting marshmallows.

Then we rappel down a hole and get a lengthy cutscene that gives us a birds-eye view of a lengthy environment puzzle. We move two more waterwheels but this time we need to move water-gargoyle-y poles to the correct position. Takes a while, but ok. After getting the first wheel turning you get another ambush, which thankfully can be skipped by jumping into the water and swimming to the second objective. Then we move more water gargoyle poles but this time we get occasionally interrupted by combat. I died here a couple of times because this one can't be skipped and they just kept coming out of the woodwork.

Then, a lengthy cutscene starts. Unskippable. Lara finds the place she's looking for, but her precious macguffin isn't where it should've been. A tremor goes through the hidden city, the natives get even more enraged and you start one of those spectacle running sequences. This one isn't too bad, but you need to be on your shit at all times, and occasionally wonder why this time you did get hit by their claws and arrows while the other 8 times you were here, you didn't. You must be getting sloppy but fucked if you could tell in what way! Ok, then, swimming. Thank god there isn't any Piranha stealth here.

yes piranha stealth did I stutter?!

This is an occasional mechanic where Lara has to hide in the tall weeds underwater while patrolling Piranha's do their rounds. If they see you, they swarm and kill you. Tough shit. Let's not dive into the fact that Piranha's only eat sick and easy prey but ok. No Piranha Stealth here. We move on. Swim swim swim, climb climb climb until we reach an overhang we can't climb on, since Lara can't hang that way yet. Luckily, just ahead, just after we do another squeeze through narrow opening thingies, we find a deserted campsite where a soldier got killed by a rockslide. We take his climbing gear so we can get past that overhang. Now if you thought “hey, campsite must mean campfire, we get a checkpoint here!” I'm here to dash your dreams against the rocks because NOPE. No campfire. This would've been the perfect spot but NAH.

Fine. So we climb up, now passing the previously inaccessible point and towards a terrifying jump that I always feel like it'll go wrong, but never did. Lara is hanging upside down and makes a leap of faith towards the ground and she lands just on the edge of the cliff for me, every single time. (which the video JUST NOW gave me the idea to rappel down first before jumping...:ALSDKFJS:LDFKJ:LSDKJF OK FINE THAT ONE IS ON ME.)

We climb up some more towards the biggest, most assholeish jump i've encountered in this game so far. It's a leap of faith where Lara has to throw her rappel axe into the cliff ahead so she can climb up. Problem is that the timing on this jump is mean as hell. It's so easy to throw the axe too early, making her overshoot and fall to her death. I had to look up a video after dying here the fifth time to make sure I didn't forget a mechanic. Turns out I had to throw the rappel axe later than my instincts told me. Even people on easy complain about this jump it seems, and they'd have the benefit of generous saving and checkpointing. Finally after that harrowing ordeal (which I'm positive has claimed a year off of my remaining actual life), I climb up and find another body of water to swan dive into. I'm so close to the end, I can feel it, I see the light at the end of the tunnel, so close...

SURPRISE! PIRANHA STEALTH!

I got mercilessly shredded to pieces the first time I got here after dying for like the 12th time. If I had been playing this when it came out in 2018, I would've been buying a new controller and/or monitor at this point.

The second time I got to this point (after dying s'more on segments that I thought I had handled at this point) I found an alternate route that took me past the patrolling piranha's without any hassle and then finally, FINALLY, the end of the water segment unceremoniously spits me out into the village that serves as a hub. Empty handed. No progress made in Lara's quest. I've posted a video under this post so you can see what that entire segment entails. Now imagine you die constantly and every time you do you end up having to redo all the challenges and pick up all the side content again and again, if you're a completionist. My god.

As I write this I am utterly deflated and I had to get this off of my chest. I honestly love Shadow of the Tomb Raider and how it handles its highest difficulty, save for segments like these that just feel like they didn't have a big priority on the list of things to be tested on this difficulty before shipping. Which is a crying shame, because I think the game shines on this difficulty, otherwise.

I'm going to bed. Probably gonna dream about the unskippable dialog and the freaking stealth piranha's. ugh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyAWG98j7A8&t=1008s

What emerged is that it''s increasingly clear that a lot of the Discord alternatives whilst very promising are just not quite ready yet and need more time to bake in various different ways. Put simply, all of them have trade offs and drawbacks unique to each. Discourse was a big hit with the community and it was with the staff too.

So we decided to shift our focus to Discourse, but why?

Why Discourse

It has to be said that whilst Discourse isn't and wasn't intended to be a Discord replacement, it worked for us in a way we perhaps totally missed – the fact that The Tavern is spread across the world and we don't all get to keep up with the flow of a live chat simply due to timezone restrictions.

Text and voice chat

That said, there is still a need or want to be able to have live chat in some instances. The plugin for this with Discourse was ok (not great, just ok) and filled a gap but was a little bit of a bolt on. There are however other options we can work on for this though, such as getting other services integrated with Discourse (i.e. XMPP, IRC or Mumble) to let us have more functionalities in the live chatting side of things, that will probably supersede the usage of Discourse chat plugin, making it useless and to be deactivated.

Is Discourse private (as in available to fews)?

No, it is not. As mentioned previously we self-host all our services in a secure production-ready manner and Discourse was no exception, so it's completely usable. In fact, everyone is welcome, may you be a lurker or the most active poster/chatter.

You can sign up directly at our Discourse instance or request a TGT SSO account if you are interested in our other services (like Writefreely, Peertube, etc.). Should you choose to go for the TGT SSO account please contact a Staff member because it requires a manual action from our side.

Is Discourse private (as in managed by us?)

Yes, it is. Our Discourse instance resides in a VPN in EU, as well as the Object Storage connected. Everything is hosted by Hetzner and by any means under the GDPR regulation. The only piece of infrastructure we're not managing directly is the Content Delivery Network (CDN) which is hosted by Bunny.net (find more about their stance about GDPR here). The contract the Staff agreed upon about data protection and data processing is available here.

What we will do next

Even though the community voted to continue on Discourse, we will still keep an eye on testing and checking out Discord alternatives as they develop more and get better and better with time (hopefully) and share with you if anything groundbreaking comes up or develops.

#Discord #Discourse

Costs

One time

Total: 0,00 € Notes: -

Monthly

Total: 54,12€ Notes:

• OVH Cloud: Writefreely, Owncast and Peertube, IRC, The Lounge, Mobilizon
• Hetzner: Pixelfed Glitch, Mastodon Glitch, Status page, Object Storage, Bridging services, Elastic search

Applied exchange rate 1 USD ≈ 0,95 EUR

Annual

Total: 39,02€ Notes: Domain registration will be paid in August '26

Donations

One time

Total: 4,00 € Notes: -

Recurring

Total: 61,00 € Notes: -

Balance

#2026 #February #MonthlyReport

Costs

One time

Total: 0,00 € Notes: -

Monthly

Total: 54,12€ Notes:

• OVH Cloud: Writefreely, Owncast and Peertube, IRC, The Lounge, Mobilizon
• Hetzner: Pixelfed Glitch, Mastodon Glitch, Status page, Object Storage, Bridging services, Elastic search

Applied exchange rate 1 USD ≈ 0,95 EUR

Annual

Total: 39,02€ Notes: Domain registration will be paid in August '26

Donations

One time

Total: 15,00 € Notes: -

Recurring

Total: 50,00 € Notes: -

Balance

#2026 #January #MonthlyReport

yes. I've just ruled that it does.

Speaking of favorites, I once got so hung up on the question of “what's your favorite game” that I made an entire presentation outlining my favorite games based on genre. It was, like, almost 40 slides long. I made it in 2018, so I think it's time to revisit that... Are you interested? Toot @ me https://gamerstavern.online/@sunie

I find this preamble ramble quite useful to get to actually writing the post I've set out to do. I'll try to keep it brief but it helps to rev up the proverbial engine. Make sense?

Alright! So! At the start of the month I've set a challenge for myself, and that was to beat four games in February. I am stoked to tell you I have succeeded, and I'm here to tell you about what I've played and give y'all some mini-reviews.

En Garde!

★★★☆☆ En Garde! has been on my backlog for a while now. You play as Adalia de Volador, a daring swashbuckler that stands up against a tyrannical count-duke that terrorizes her town with ridiculous laws and taxes. It's a humorous game for sure, and the bright and colorful graphics were a joy to look at.

The game couples flashy swordplay mechanics with environmental interaction, making every encounter a sweet little sandbox of mayhem and comedy. Enemy on top of a flight of stairs? Kick him! Surrounded? Pick up a roast chicken off of the table and cover one's head while kicking the table towards the rest. A loaded cannon aimed at unsuspecting guards? You already know what to do.

I've definitely enjoyed my time with the game, but it wasn't without its frustrations. Due to the game's short length of about four hours, it wastes no time throwing pretty much every mechanic at you from the start, so by the time you've reached the fourth and final level there aren't much surprises left. The enemies are also quite relentless and constantly had me on the back foot, running away from them and towards a single use stage gimmick to take one or two out at a time. See, you can only directly cross blades with one enemy. If you get surrounded, you can't “Arkham” or “Assassin's Creed” your way by countering every blow that comes at you. You're forced to roll away and split up the enemies to thin out their numbers. I felt less like a cool and competent swordfighter and more like Kevin from Home Alone, luring enemies into my traps and generally feeling overwhelmed. This could very well be a me thing! I like a challenge, but this one didn't click with me.

Now, the saving grace here is that this game was originally a student project that got blown up into something bigger. I have a weakness for these kinds of projects, and there is so much heart in this that I can't be mad at the things I disliked. On the other side of that coin, I'm disinterested into going back into the challenge levels or 100%ing the game for the same reasons.

Dispatch

★★★★★

The second game was Dispatch and boy oh boy this one has my name written all over it. I've always loved interactive fiction games. Games like Dragon's Lair, Space Ace and later games like The Walking Dead and The Wolf Among Us are just 100% my shit.

The game is set in a world of superheroes and supervillains. We follow Robert, whose Iron Man-esque suit got destroyed during an encounter with his nemesis. But just as his career as Mecha Man seems over and done with, he gets a job offer from SDN, the Superhero Dispatch Network. There, he is faced with dispatching a ragtag group of low tier ex-villains that want to redeem themselves and become heroes.

Now, your choices matter in this game so it wouldn't do for me to divulge more of the story. In the typical style of Telltale's The Walking Dead (AdHoc Studios is made up of ex TT-devs), the flow of the story is dictated by your actions and even though some events are set in stone, the context that you create brings a personal touch to the proceedings.

There's more than just watching Dispatch and occasionally making a choice though. There's a few Quicktime Events if Robert ends up fighting (which can be disabled if you don't like them) but the meat of the gameplay is the actual Dispatching. You send out the members of your team to all sorts of tasks, from rescuing cats out of trees to stopping an international supervillain. How WELL they do is based on their stats, which you get to increase when they rank up. Reading the task and sussing out what kind of skills are needed is how you do well in these moments, and there's even a (quite original) hacking minigame to break up the action.

The tone of Dispatch definitely leans more towards “Invincible” rather than most of Marvel's output. There's mature dialog, risque situations and the game doesn't shy away from nudity. The squeamish (or the folks that are scared of videos getting demonetized) can opt to censor that stuff, though leaving it on creates a very solid and mature identity overall that doesn't go too over the top.

I definitely recommend experiencing this game any way you can, either by playing it yourself or by tooting at me to stream it so you can just watch it like a Saturday morning cartoon. I wouldn't mind playing this again.

Beyond Shadowgate

★★★★☆

I absolutely adore the original Shadowgate, specifically the NES version. The music, atmosphere and writing make for a unique package. Death lurks around every corner but it's so hilariously abrupt at times (and not very punishing) that you almost WANT to find all the ways you can end your life.

...gosh the things people say that only work in the context of video games, huh?

Anyway, Beyond Shadowgate is based on the original draft of the sequel, that got thrown out in favor of whatever ended up hitting the Turbografx-CD. It's helmed by the original developers, and it shows. This game retains the tone, aesthetic and unrelenting murderous attitude of the NES original, and I love it for it.

You are Del the Fenling, who gets roped into saving the kingdom from the evil influences that have been hanging over it since the events that transpired 35 years ago (OG Shadowgate). The gameplay consists of using a classic point & click verb-based interface to navigate. Use key on door, examine statue, hit jester, that sort of thing. It was lovely to just hang back in my chair, clicking on everything that looked interesting. Felt nostalgic.

Two things that kinda rubbed me the wrong way, one of which is 100% on me. First, I admit to grabbing a walkthrough here and there, because as it turns out I am woefully out of shape when it comes to these kinds of games. I have unlearned the skills of pixel hunting, hint parsing and straight up “trying everything until it works” that I used to have back when adventure games were basically all I played. It's very retro in that aspect, and I have been spoiled by modern games. It's not a knock against the game, rather my own learned laziness.

Second, and this is a bit of a spoiler, there are segments of the game that teleport Del to the worlds of Deja Vu and Uninvited, as a nostalgia play to ICOMs other works on the NES. This bugged me to no end. I've never played these and it took me out of a world that I enjoy. The Steam page calls these segments side quests, but I object. If they are mandatory parts of the main progression of the game there's nothing 'side' about them. I am gritting my teeth to not go off on a tangent on how Kickstarter incentives and rewards can muddle the final product. Maybe for another blog. There are so many actual Shadowgate games, couldn't they have just... ugh.

Aside from these things, Beyond Shadowgate is fantastic, a real treat and a real bastard. I recommend it to anyone yearning for an old-school adventure game.

Now, originally, the last game on the dock was Anno: Mutationem, but I ended up dropping it. This blog post is getting long in the tooth so I'll keep it brief:

The beauty of this game is skin deep. Underneath the lovely graphics and atmosphere lies a buggy game, with serviceable yet boring combat and nonsensical plot riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. I got about halfway until I couldn't bring myself to continue anymore. So instead, I pivoted to:

Fear the Spotlight

★★★★★

Horror games have been a staple for me ever since the first Alone in the Dark. Fear the Spotlight can easily slot itself between the greats of the PSX era.

The game contains two chapters, each following one of the two main characters, Vivian and Amy. The girls break into the school late at night to play around with the Ouija board, to summon spirits that were linked to a horrible fire that destroyed the school and its reputation years prior. Of course this summoning goes horribly wrong and the two get entangled into that horrific past, all while being haunted by ghosts and a monster with a big spotlight for a head.

The game reminded me of the aesthetics of Silent Hill 1 on PSX, and it didn't take long for me to get sucked in. The low fidelity graphics have a way to set your mind on edge. Was that something moving in the darkness, or was it just one of those wobbly polygons? The low visibility, much like Silent Hill's fog, really keeps you in suspense. Aside from that, the game focuses on stealth, completely ignoring combat. It's a recipe for constant unease. The game knows how to ride that rollercoaster of suspense and not rely on cheap tactics like jump scares and blatant gore to get your heart rate up.

The story is well written and executed, slowly unraveling the events that lead up to the horrific fire that cost a ton of students their lives. The game isn't particularly long, but uses its time well to build everything up to their tragic conclusions, while keeping up the tense and gripping atmosphere emblematic of a good horror game.

It's a perfect example of how limitations set upon the developers leverage the final result. I can't recommend this game enough, especially if it's on sale.

And that's it! wow! This blog post was an absolute beast to write. If you ended up reading it all, kudos to you. I don't blame you if you found it a bit too much of a wall of text. It's no longer morning as I wrap this up. If you want to chat with me some more about this post, please toot https://gamerstavern.online/@sunie. Also, I started streaming on Peertube! the first archive is up here

Thanks for reading! See you soonie!

after using Rocket.chat for a few days we summarised the feedback from the community and our administrative feedback for ease of reading and to let us retrieve them later during the next test run(s).

The feedbacks from the community

The community reported back that with adding more and more channels it felt way less organized due to the web and app behaviour. Even though Rocket.chat comes with native mobile apps, the community found them lacking in terms of QoL functionalities and carrying more bugs than the web interface

Overall, the community deemed Rocket.chat to be way too deep into the enterprise and soulless corporate side of things, more than being a community tool, while also preferring the previous test (Discourse) instead of the current test. Generally speaking, the community felt that the best solution wasn't probably a single app or service but rather a combination of at least two services, one for community building and one for quick communication (textual, voice, video, this last not being a dealbreaker)

The feedbacks from the staff

What we found positive from the behind-the-curtains side of things is that Rocket.chat is self hostable, not too difficult to maintain and easy to setup and quite lightweight infrastructurally.

What really didn't click with us (or clicked negatively) is that most of the settings are paywalled behind a subscription and said subscription has to be paid even for self-hosted instance. The first setup require mandatorily a subscription/registration to the starter plan (free up to 50 users), with no way to skip it. The community plan (which we're currently using after downgrading) allow us to have only 5 plugin/integrations; we installed Giphy and Jitsi during the test run and many others are just proprietary/big tech plugins. We couldn't enable push notifications for our instance because Rocket.chat requires a subscription to use the Rocket.chat official gateway even for self hosted instances OR let you build a custom android/iOS app (whitelabeling) which is a huge tech commitment;

Generally speaking, the overall UX is more similar to Matrix (Element, etc.) than Slack and seems being more enterprise oriented than community oriented, differently from the previous test (Discourse)

Next steps

In the days ahed we will proceed to the next test run, that will be described in the next blog post.

Stay tuned for more updates

#Discord #RocketChat

Ah. Yes. OK Sunie, focus.

I've been having a HELL of a time getting all of my hobbies, pursuits and ambitions in a row. It's something I've always struggled with but it's gotten worse by the year. Mainly because lately I've regained the drive to actually do cool things. I've had some, shall we say, huge mental roadblocks in the past that made pursuing anything a useless thought. But here I am now, thinking about cool shit I could be doing.

I could be:

• writing more blogs (oh, hey, hi.)
• working on my game design ideas
• making videos on PeerTube
• Livestreaming

But the old familiar hammer of “who in the absolute buggery would even care” hits me square in the jaw again. So, here's me, trying to break through :that thought and publishing something off the cuff. Have you noticed the title is actually about the event of finishing 4 games in February and not about the struggles of doing anything creative?

I find my own lack of focus disturbing, too.

But, alright, let's get back to Four in February, someting that semaj@social.lol has introduced me to in one of his blogs. It's basically finishing four games in your backlog during the month of February. So now I'm looking at my Steam library, at a backlog that is 139 games long (I have way more games but these are the ones I've selected to have priority), trying to pick four.

Which is actually why I'm writing this blog post, cause hopefully by typing out this stream of consciousness I might stumble upon the four I want.

I could cheat and say I've already finished my first game of the month:

However, since I started that in January and finished my second playthrough for a different ending just now, I feel that's cheating. I want to start and end it in this month. A fine game by the way, Silent Hill f. A bit different than the previous entries in the series, with a larger focus on combat, but I did enjoy it very much. Hinako's exploration of gender identity, roles and expectations hit home for me. But that's perhaps a blog for another day.

I just got En Garde! recommended to me, so that's going on the list. And as I'm filling in this fancy backlog list over on QuestLog.app I suppose I could put ANNO: Mutationem on there as well. And alright, why not Beyond: Shadowgate? I really loved the NES version of the first game. it was so tense and atmospheric, and a real asshole of a game. And finally, Dispatch. OK! GOOD. DONE AND DUSTED.

Now... which one to start first...

❤️❤️❤️❤️🖤

A popular drink in the Netherlands, Rivella, has a peculiar tagline that can be freely translated to “A little bit weird, but still tasty”. Having played Parasite Eve on PSX for the #videogameclub on Mastodon, I can safely say that applies to Squaresoft's 1998 title as well!

What if your mitochondria (yes yes, the powerhouse of the cell, sit down...) have a will of their own? This is what author Hideaki Sena took as a basis for the original Parasite Eve novel. Mitochondria, being multi-celled organisms, are portrayed as being fed up with serving mankind and seek to evolve beyond humanity. They possess the power to mutate their host and manipulate the mitochondria in others, causing people to (among other things) spontaneously combust. It's portrayed as similar to how parasites can manipulate a host, and having that apply to humans takes actual science to a horrific extreme. The game picks up after the events of the original novel, which is only tangentially referenced in its backstory.

When rookie cop Aya Brea takes her date to the opera, she's witness to a new breakout of the rogue Mitochondria depicted in the source material. The diva on stage, upon starting her solo, sets her co-stars and the audience on fire. Aya is entirely unharmed as her nascent cop instincts kick in, training her gun on the entity now naming itself 'Eve'. The mystery only grows further as Aya develops powers of her own as the mutated New York fauna bar her quest to take down Eve and save humanity from going the path of the Neanderthal.

The story is on a real rollercoaster ride from the word 'go' and provides a brisk but engaging narrative over six chapters spanning ten-ish hours. What stood out to me is that the game's supporting cast is surprisingly fleshed out despite the fairly spartan exposition they all get. Daniel, Aya's partner on the force, stands out in particular. Where Aya's narrative provides the mystery (where does Eve come from, why is she connected to Aya, etc.) Daniel humanizes the stakes as he tries to protect his wife and son from Eve's purge. Even the other cast members shine through strong characterizations that aren't bogged down by over-exposition or long-winded dialog and managed to all stick in my mind after the credits had rolled.

It should come as no surprise that a game about mutation and evolution tries to apply those same principles to its gameplay. Parasite Eve marries tried and true JRPG mechanics with a dash of Survival Horror. I can't say the two have mutated into a true evolution of their respective genres, but the experiment was certainly successful enough for some of its ideas to survive. Firstly, the Survival Horror aspect, which I feel comes most in play in its presentation. Not that Squaresoft is any stranger to polygonal characters on prerendered backgrounds, but there's something about its camera angles, atmosphere and the hideously deformed monsters that's giving more Jill Valentine than Tifa Lockhart. The FMV cutscenes that grotesquely portray the flash mutation of common animals are memorable in both art and sound design, full of fleshy squelches as limbs rip and tear into distorted positions. Fans of body horror will find plenty to shudder uncomfortably at here.

The JRPG side of things flaunts its stats-driven nature. Aya improves with every level, allowing the player to sink bonus points into certain stats as well as equipment, which can be further improved by feeding bonuses and traits into your favorite piece of kit. Combat is real-time with pause, where attacks project a sphere of influence akin to what we'd later see in Vagrant Story. Everything inside the sphere takes full damage from Aya's weapons, whereas outside the damage is drastically reduced. Positioning, therefore, is of the utmost importance. The weapon mod system shines, allowing the player to mold their own ultimate equipment based on their own playstyle rather than railroading you into one specific final weapon. The aspects where the two sides meet end up oddly mutated. The limited inventory that adds tension in a survival horror game is downplayed by the ability to increase it by putting extra points into it, as well as allowing a stack of over 1000 bullets that work across nearly all weapons. Most of Aya's stats increase rigidly, each gaining a point with every level without giving the player any say in the matter, to the point where one wonders why they bother displaying those stats at all. A lot of Parasite Eve's systems end up feeling vestigial, a relic of either genre that struggles to fit its new form.

All that said, I do genuinely feel that those criticisms only truly surface when you try to shove the game into one box or the other. As soon as you take Parasite Eve for what it is, rather than what you expect from it, the game comfortably nestles into doing its own thing. So much so that it's honestly a shame that Parasite Eve 2 leaned even more into survival horror and 3rd Birthday did...whatever 3rd Birthday ended up doing. We never did get to see Parasite Eve's Ultimate Form, which is a shame. It makes me wonder if the game's design fell victim to being a hybrid of two of the era's most popular genres, and that neither marketing, nor the games media, nor the fans truly understood what it was trying to do. Of course the game has its core audience that can appreciate it for what it is, something I can call myself a part of now.

Parasite Eve is something special, and it's definitely a fun ride. Shame we never saw it fully mature.

I’ve sat on this one for a few weeks to be honest, but off the back of seeing our Gamer’s Tavern community come together in such a lovely and heart warming way over the last few weeks (be it looking out for each other in tough times, being super generous and gifting each other steam games from each other’s wish list for secret santa, etc) I felt compelled to reflect and write on my story as to how I ended up here- and crucially, why it couldn’t have come at a better time. I was at what could have been a pretty low point in my life.

Let’s go back a few years, to before I became a part of The Tavern. I’d been working as an A&E nurse (or Emergency Room for you overseas folk) and somewhere between end of 2021 and mid 2022, I left this job after 8 years of being there. I’d experienced a fair amount of tough, hollowing experiences in my time there, but of course the COVID era was…the final nail in the coffin to say the least. To sum it up in just a few words, I can only describe it as just a conveyor belt of bodies. Anyway, my point being- I was coming out of that job in somewhat of a shell shocked state to say the least.

I had two friends that I really counted on during these times. One of which I’d never met before, who I’d met online through the game Payday 2 mid way through my uni degree (age 21). We used to play games almost every day together (although in later years this became less frequent due to work, but none the less, at least once or twice a week we’d have a good long gaming session) and racked up hours and hours playing various coop games together- we were a great duo. We knew each other very well and shared all our highs and lows. The other, I’d known since the age of 16 where we met at an athletics club and became very, very good friends over the years. I guess you could call us “wingmen”. He would go on to be the best man at my wedding.

Fast forward back to the later years of 2022 & 2023, both of these friendships came crashing down. My online friend had been displaying small little worrying behaviours and traits over the course of a year whereby he became incredibly misogynistic and hateful towards women- which ended with him sending a full on one way incel rant to me in messages followed by completing cutting me off of any communication with him. That was that, poof. Gone- almost 12 years of close friendship down the drain with no chance to talk or discuss.

Then, after my wife and I got married and we were in the last month or so of pregnancy awaiting the arrival of our daughter, my other best mate (also having started to show a very different side to him since our wedding) did some pretty unforgivable stuff to two of my wife’s female best friends. Stuff that you don’t just talk about and forgive. Totally out of the blue and something I never thought he was capable of. I’d properly vouched for him as one of life’s nice guys who always did right by people. It hurt, to say the least.

And that was that. My two close friendships that I had sustained through my early adulthood, gone- in two very similar manners. I’d never been the kind of person that had loads and loads of friends but none of them would actually been there when it mattered- I had a small circle of friends and we all had each others back, we didn’t have to have regular meetings in order to maintain the friendship- whenever we met up, it would be as though no time had passed at all.

Also during this time, all the lived experiences of my time as a nurse came back to haunt me- like the trailing wake of a speeding boat slamming you from behind when you stop suddenly. Having “lost” two people I thought I knew so very well, vouched for them to other people and spoke so highly of them- I became very untrusting and wary of starting up friendships with other people, the intent of going on to become good friends an idea that I wrote off before even engaging. I felt as though I had too much on my plate to be able to cope with the idea of having genuinely good friendships with other people. I didn’t have the “bandwidth”, if you want to call it that, to try and start from scratch with friendships again. It almost sounds like dating, doesn’t it? It just felt as though if someone were to ask me “so, what do you do? What have you been up to?” everything that would leave my mouth after that moment would just be a verbal diarrhoea combination of: – Any or all the awful deaths and experiences I’d witnessed – Lol I spend so many of my evenings staring at the same spot on the wall in my lounge, I’m so random lol – I don’t really talk to people anymore I’m just putting one foot in front of the other – I have an amazing family and surroundings with absolutely nothing to be sad or ungrateful for but I still just feel overbearingly numb and disconnected from everything lol, what about you?

I’m doing fine, by the way. A lot has happened since those days and I’ve done a lot of work on myself. Just wanted to put that in there early as a bit of reassurance- not trying to use this as some sort of cliffhanger.

I wasn’t on social media. I became aware of the Mastodon project in the days when Elon Musk took over Twitter and in my discontent with the acquisition, I moved across to a Mastodon gaming instance. I then discovered some weirdo called Alex, who hosted a streaming channel on Twitch called “The Gamer’s Tavern” every week. I followed along, and never left. Eventually, having generated a bit of an online friendship with Alex and some other people within that same community, I became a mod alongside Jamie (known as EighthLayer at the time). Through this community, I met some people who I genuinely call friends to this day. Me and Jamie have met in person recently and been to a Linkin Park gig together, which was an odd feeling, but a good one- to meet someone for the first time but also have it feel like you’d known each other for ages and not struggle for conversation, whilst also not finding the silences uncomfortable was a feeling I’d missed, tbh. Myself & Alex & would (and still do) regularly play any mixture of games- being able to enjoy gameplay and chatting to each other about our lives is something I’d truly missed, and was a hole in a part of my life that needed filling. Same goes for Jamie and some of his own friends who have adopted me into their little friendship circle. Not only this, but we also often play as a whole group of us with others from The Tavern, too. I decided to finally go head first into an interest that had always bubbled away in the background unanswered in the form of sim racing & rallying by buying my first ever sim rig. Everyone has been hugely supportive and positive about the whole thing.

It’s nice, really, really nice.

I am of course slowly expanding my friendship circle again, having met a few through parent groups etc. But the connections I’ve made within The Gamers’ Tavern have meant so much more.

Without getting too much deeper into this, I’m trying to say that The Gamers’ Tavern community has been nothing short of amazing. Alex (who created and started the whole thing) has been absolutely awesome from the start- and as much as he will down right refuse to take any credit or have any spotlight on him, he has a big part to play in where we are right now with the Gamers’ Tavern. Recently, he has chosen to take a step back as the main figurehead of The Tavern (which we all fully understand and support), wanting to let The Gamers’ Tavern become community led and focused- which is exactly what has happened. In this past year, the community has grown even more and we’ve gained some even more absolutely wonderful people.

We round off the year seeing the back of The Gamers’ Tavern secret santa, where we all posted our Steam wish lists- under the caveat of there being zero expectation or obligation to participate. Boy oh boy, the generosity we saw has been nothing short of heart warming. Total strangers, internet strangers from all corners of the world have been gifting each other things. It’s not just materialistic either, it’s genuine- every one is interested in each other’s lives and wants to help in any way they can. We all check in with each other. We all share things with each other. It’s a safe space. We look out for each other.

I could go on and on about this, but I just want to finish off with saying this:

Cheers to The Gamers’ Tavern. You’re all awesome. And to those who haven’t visited or aren’t a part of it, you’re also awesome, and always welcome any time.

Here’s to 2026.

Tales of a Quite Peculiar Cat – Volume III

By Rubyn Frey

As Ji’sari grew, so did her tendency to be where she should not, her eavesdropping giving her access to information that the lower class Khajiit could never dream of knowing. This led to a deepening distrust of the ruling Khajiit and the Altmeri who kept them in their positions for their own benefit.

Her friends tolerated her antics as quite often she would obtain wine from the warehouse without their parents knowledge, and they would sit just outside of the city walls until late into the night, telling stories, playing jokes on each other and on rare occasions, impersonating various dignitaries who had visited.

~——————————~

On a warm night during Last Seed, the group were again sharing some bottles of spiced wine in the desert, Ji’sari weaving a tale of deception and deceit surrounding some visiting nobles, no one was sure if there was any real truth in the tale, but Ji’sari kept them enthralled, playing each part perfectly.

Balancing on a point of rock looming over their campfire, Ji’sari proposed that the Alfiq in her tale had produced a flame from their paw. But no, cried the group, an Alfiq would never do such a thing. But why not, challenged Ji’sari, were they not equal to the mer? Can Khajiit not be better than they?

The group stared open-mouthed, aghast that such a thing be mentioned out loud, though under their own rule, Khajiit were brought up to defer to their Altmeri overlords, they did after all, return Masser and Secunda to the night sky following the Void Nights.

Ji’sari had probably consumed a little too much spiced wine, and felt emboldened by the attention of the group sitting below. Leaping from the rock and twisting in the air, she landed facing them, crouching, one hand on the ground steadying herself, a sly grin on her face, Ji’sari held her hand out towards them, palm up, concentrating, pulling her energies into focus and produced a small dancing flame.

There were quickly muffled shrieks, some of the group ran over to her to shelter her from view lest any of the guards notice the commotion. Questions followed, how, when and why, Ji’sari answered with the enthusiasm of someone who was drunk in the moment.

Ji'sari told of how a merchant selling books and scrolls had passed through the city in early Morning Star many months before, and had been showing off his wares which included some spell tomes, the curious Khajiit watching as he dazzled the local Khajiit and the young Altmeri who had not yet taken up any training in the arts of magicka. When the crowd had left, Ji’sari had approached the merchant, a small amount of coin in her purse gained her a slim tome on the art of fire magicks.

Determined to be able to do something that most Khajiit in the city could not, but their mer overlords could, Ji’sari dedicated herself to studying the tome while sitting on rooftops, meditating whilst balancing on the various objects above the roof tiles to improve her concentration.

Scared of the reaction of their elders, or the authorities finding out, her friends begged her to keep her ability secret, but Ji’sari, still high from the use of magicka, would not be hushed. Her oldest friend, Ribazh, pleaded with her, but understood that Ji’sari was not a Khajiit to be tamed and must walk her own path through the desert sands.

The following morning, the group left the confines of the city, Ji’sari with a small bag of belongings, they said farewell to their friend and returned through the gate causing a commotion to hide her absence. Ji'sari slipped in amongst some merchants who had recently left the city, and began her journey across Elsweyr.

~——————————~

#Fiction #ElderScrolls

But, in the last one I decided differently...

In fact, I decided to go for the Oropa Sanctuary in the Alps, called “the shrine between earth and sky” where one of the most important black Madonnas is kept.

From the site:

The Oropa Sanctuary is the most important and largest Sanctuary dedicated to the Virgin Mary to be found in the Alps. It is located in a unique, natural and unspoilt setting at 1200 mt. a.m.s.l[...]

Keep in mind that I'm no believer although I truly appreciate sacred art, so unique, natural and unspoilt setting was what truly intrigued me about the Oropa Trail, specifically the Serra route.

Coming out from the woods and gazing upon the sanctuary in the far distance was simply majestic. I then approached the main building, the upper basilica, and walked through the sacred yard. After entering, looking at the ceiling, with the dome towering at 80 meters high, passing near the humongous marble columns and finally resting my eyes at the black Madonna left me struck with my mouth open.

And, I felt something.

Yes, you read that correctly, I felt something. It was not a calling, it was not my name whispered into my ears with a harp gently played and definitely wasn't another pilgrim bumping into my backpack.

What it was was a connection. A connection spanning several centuries in the past, with all the pilgrims that passed through that trail, with their burdens, in search for something more. I wrote above that I'm no believer but I need to clarify that what I don't really believe in are cults; I do believe in a force above us that could be defined as an “natural equilibrium” (mind, not Karma).

Anyway, believer or non believer, worshipping this or that god or just waiting for the natural equilibrium to kick in, we are all the same, we are all connected.

We're all wanderers in the dark, looking for a light to brigthen up our life.

And since we're all the same, we might as well be that light to each other (starting being kind, like stated in the gentle wolf and the angry wolf recent post)

In case you might be interested in watching some photos from my journey, here's a link

#Oropa #Trekking #Faith

Tales of a Quite Peculiar Cat – Volume 2

By Rubyn Frey

In many ways Ji'sari was a typical Khajiit, they have a tendency towards very sweet things and also to develop various abilities that may cause them to cross paths with the authorities. Often as a very young kit, Ji'sari wished to test herself but also had a yearning for something sweet.

~——————————~

On one such occasion it was a yearning for some sweet Dune gnocchi, Ji'sari slipped out of her room and across the rooftops, sometimes leaping from roof to roof, or if the jump was too far, dropping down and passing unseen across roads or alleyways and finding a way back up to the rooftops to continue making her way to the market which was close to the warehouse district, but not so close that she would could cause any concern to her father or his employer. Reaching the inn nearby Ji'sari quietly dropped from the roof onto some conveniently stacked crates.

Pausing and observing the various merchants and their customers for a time, she then slipped under a table and waited, ensuring that she could see, but be unseen. The various stalls of sweet treats and meats were busy as local Khajiit picked up their supplies, occasional stalls of household goods and fine fabrics were less busy but visited by nobles or, servants sent on errands by their masters.

Waiting for the opportune moment Ji'sari, slipped behind a large group making their way around the market, to the next stall, where again she waited. Ji'sari repeated the process until she reached the sweet traders stall, the strong smell of cinnamon and other treats filling her senses. The traders robes of red and tan were long and flowing, the under robes in silk, the over robes in a heavy cotton to keep out the dust which would blow around the city when the winds came in from the deserts. A purse to his right heavy with coin, and a deep fold to the left giving an indication to Ji'sari that a pocket lay within.

Cautiously our kit slipped some coins into the pocket, taking care not to disturb the fabric more than a gentle breeze disturbs a tree, and then, reached slowly from under the stall to pick up the tempting gnocchi, still warm to the touch. A large hand covered hers, enclosing the hand and the gnocchi which lay within, and dragged Ji'sari from her hiding place, the Raht guard hauling her to her feet.

“That one!” The sweet trader growled, “again!”

“This one did not do anything,” claimed the kit.

“You cannot deny, you have been caught red handed,” rumbled the guard.

Ji’sari wriggled until her tunic came loose from the firm grip, and made off with a start, giggling. “Oh yes, ha, check Khajiit pocket!”

Running off towards the back of the inn, quickly finding a a safe place to hide her prize in her leather pouch, Ji'sari climbed back up to the rooftops. Finding a spot to again observe the goings on of the market, she settled back to enjoy her sweet Dune gnocchi with some blackberry flavoured milk from a small earthenware flask tied onto her belt.

Yes, Ji’sari, while a typical mischievous kit, was also honourable, the thrill was in taking, not being caught and being in places no one would suspect, but never in stealing.

~——————————~

#Fiction #ElderScrolls

I like to get my posts a title that isn't really connected to the main topic of the post itself and try to work into the post by creating a visual concept (or a metaphor), and this time won't be any different.

Let's start by thinking what a step is. No seriously, take a few minutes and imagine what's a step and what does it mean for you.

Is it just a mechanical way to get your body moving from point A to point B? Is it a oh-so-used metaphor with a profound meaning (like every change/travel/trail begins with a single step)? All of the above? Non of the above?

I don't hold the truth (pfft, imagine if I were, what an effed world we'd be living in...) but a step for me is just a single inseparable fragment of space and time combined together. You can't take the same step again in a different moment, you can't have two different steps at the same time (well, unless you'd be jumping but bear with me and count that as a single step for the sake of this post). And every step carries your weight, may it be heavy because you're carrying a lot over your shoulders, may it be light because you're not, thus taking us in having three different concepts melded into one: space, time, happiness.

Effin' cool, isn't it? It's a neat concept holding together the past (all the steps you took – aka the footprints –, how were you feeling), the present (the direction you're going, how are you) and the future (all the steps you'll take, how you will be).

If my calculations are correct, you're just looking at this phrase thinking > “Jeez Alex, just start writing about hiking and how is good for you, me, everyone”. No, I won't, but hey, baby steps, we'll get there eventually. Today will be about something completely different, today I want to share something that I've talked about with only a few (not even my family).

A step forward

If you had the chance to read Waves, tossing you up and down – and if you hadn't, no worries, you know that I'm currently dealing with depression (aka the not-so-big-D). I didn't use the “battling” because honestly, it's not that bad.

Two pair of heavy footprints in the sand

One of the main reason that caused this condition lies in something happened a few years ago, when me and my wife lost a chance to be parents by a spontaneous abortion. There's no one to blame, it just happened. Back at the time we were just out from a complicated period, during which we simply couldn't have kids, first we were too young, we were too broke, then we were in the middle of moving, then my mother in law had cancer. And when we finally could, we tried and tried to no avail.

Needless to say, it felt like a warming ray of sun before it quickly disappeared behind the cloud, forever.

It was hard at first, very hard. But then it got harder with the years passing by, mostly due to the social stigma; sometimes – most of the time to be honest – people judges you by the fact that you're a parent and not how a good of a parent you are and being without a child is synonym of something going on in the couple (cheating, fighting) plus being treated as an inferior being from couples with child.

It's scar tissue that you don't want anyone seeing, but it's there, and it reminds you that you won't be whole again, never again.

Another step forward

After an year of trying and bleeding our hearts out, we decided to give medically assisted procreation (MAP for short) a chance; fortunately is almost paid in fully in the country where we live by public sanity.

Two pairs of heavy footprints in the mud

I'm not gonna lie, it was an horrible experience, due to the nurses and doctors working in that department, treating us like cows to the slaughter, mostly because they get their annual budget over the number of babies conceived instead of people treated. If you have to work with couples not able to conceive, you should get your soft gloves on and be tactful is what I'm thinking, but apparently it's a wrong concept in that department.

Nevertheless, we tried and seemed like everything was working out, but after a few weeks, it just happened again and we felt back like when we were in the sand, but this time with even heavier footprints, like we were walking in the mud.

A step forward, again

Half an year passed from that moment, bearing less grievance than the first time, but definitely not helping us with a lighter heart. Then we finally decided to give MAP a go again, which involved a lot of medical exams, lots of tests, a lot of paperwork and once again, dealing with the tactless company of the MAP department of our city. But even if it was hard, we knew we would have cherished the result, like nothing else before.

Two pairs of heavy footprints in fresh concrete and a tire

I don't believe in fate as in “it's everything already decided”, it's pure bullshit. I believe in coincidences, I believe in being the change I want to see in the world and I don't believe in anyone upon my head maneuvering me like a puppet.

But, the day my wife was ran over by a runaway car, in a supermarket parking lot, I almost started believing in fate. I'm keeping this short and maybe I'll write about this in a future post, but long story short, she got away with only a broken foot (whew), but due to the medication and the physical rehabilitation, we had to suspend the MAP treatment, again.

Where we rested for a while, before taking a step

I think I'm going to take a brief pause here, because remembering all of what happened during the last few years is taking quite a toll on my mental health and well being. Exactly what we did when my wife finally got through her physical rehabilitation, we took a break doing treatments and thinking about another pair of baby footprints nearby ours.

Like I wrote before, it's scar tissue. And sometimes, most of the times to be honest, it itches, it hurts, and your mind has always a thought fixed on that itch, on that permanent pain, where the skin once were whole and now there's a scar. And the stigma, oh the social stigma, won't allow us to talk about this with anyone, may be family, may be friends, only a selected few. Not so long ago, a member of my family subtly suggested me to find another woman and start a life anew. This is the exact level of the stigma I was writing about.

I didn't answer to that provocation, mostly because I know that those words were born from ignorance. They don't know that we didn't grow sour over the years and the failures, we're not afraid of talking about the specific topic or meeting with other couples with child or just looking at parents playing with their kids. We're not envious, we're just hurting. We share a pain that deep that made our marriage even stronger, a pain that many of us, fortunately, don't know, but often can't/won't understand.

And if you continue scratching a scar, that will surely start bleeding again. And here we are, with lots of scars, so much – metaphoric, although sometimes not so much – blood spilled. I (and I'm using the first person because I don't want to share too much about my wife's personal stuff) decided to see a therapist to help me catch some breath and deal with the burden I was carrying on my shoulder, making my steps heavier and heavier, and I must admit, that helped me a lot. A lot.

Where the steps will lead, a mountainous trail

I don't know what the future will hold, neither I have the presumption of knowing it, but I'm quite sure of the path we decided to walk again: the MAP, but this time, with a twist, meaning we decided to contact a private center outside our city and an affiliated private center, outside our country, due to our country' strict laws about fecundation outside the mother's body with an egg donor.

Again, I will probably post about this in the future, but for now let's wrap this up and if you had the courage to read the whole post, have a musical treat. Because even if your steps get heavier, you can't afford to not move forward.

#MedicallyAssistedProcreation #Child

Whilst the album has a different feel to recent albums, it gives me “Something for the Rest of Us” vibes in that this may not have been the full album they wanted to put out due to being pushed out on tour following the renewed interest in “Iris”, but it is music they wanted to write and release, it strikes me as very personal for where they are now in their lives. Also, whoever came up with the artwork, needs to be given the exact items in the image and try to make them work!

I can't find a bad track, it's trademark Goo, happy, hopeful but look under the surface and you can see what brought them here, they're still holding onto the ground for dear life even after nearly 40 years of the band.

“Ocean” is a total rock out, it’s serious steering wheel drums, keyboard and head nodding in the car with this one! It's quite an intense track for more recent Goo Goo Dolls albums, it's not quite “Gutterflower” level, but getting there.

One day I will sit down and analyse “Nothing Lasts Forever”, there are a lot of shared lyrics from “Money, Fame and Fortune”, but if you listen closely there are other tracks as well. In a recent NPR interview John said in question to whether it was his retirement song, “I wish it was, but it was just more about the transient nature of our relationships and life.”

“Slightly Broken” is feels very modern, but “so” John since “Let Love In”, the man still sounds like he's completely in love and grateful for the family he now has.

“Misery” gives me Don Henley “Boys of Summer” vibes, it's not quite the right description, but I think it's the right era, it's mellow summer all over!

The obligatory Robby Takac track “Such A Mystery”, is the happiest sounding track on the album, would love to see this played live, it's very “Prayer in my Pocket” mixed with “Strange Love.”

“Run All Night” was released initially in 2023, fantastic track and something to live by, make the most of the time you have, very poignant for me as this was the year my brother passed away at 47.

“Not Goodbye (Close my Eyes)” had me in tears the first time I heard it, I can't tell if it's releasing memories, the loss of someone, hope or if I'm reading between the lines too much, which is easy to do with John's lyrics as he tends to be quite biographical.

Sitting here hopeful for a UK/Europe tour soon as I found the Goo Goo Dolls just as they finished their last UK tour in 2023, but was lucky enough to see them in New Zealand with Matchbox Twenty in 2024, but still feel like I've known them for decades.

[Disclaimer: No affiliation to the Goo Goo Dolls or Warner Music, just a bean counter in the UK who loves music]

#NowPlaying #NewMusic

So, I've turned them into gamers.

And, honestly – it's been great! Not only has gaming been a terrific way to connect with my kids, but it's also a platform to help them learn skills like teamwork, leadership, resilience, and grit while having a ton of fun.

One challenge I've encountered since becoming a dad, though, is finding the right games to play with my kids. I don't want to just sit them in front of any old gacha brainrot – I want something they connect with, that's easy to pick up and fun to play, and where we always know we're going to have a great time. It also has to meet us where we are at: sometimes we're in the mood for competing, sometimes working together, or sometimes just exploring and building.

So, I've put together this guide to help other parents as you explore gaming with your children. Read through it, bookmark it, then come back to it later as you need. The goal shouldn't be to get every game all at once, but, as you play through one game and want to explore others, come back to this page and see what piques your interest. Read, bookmark, boost (if you like!), and enjoy!

Cream of the Crop

Whenever someone asks “What are great games for playing with kids?”, these are always the first I recommend. Easy to pick up, great gameplay, and minimal content any parent would ever need to worry about.

Unrailed

The concept is simple – you're building a rail line through an untouched wilderness, clearing land and gathering two resources to build rail to the next train station. The twist? The train is already rolling down the track!

The game features a great difficulty ramp as the train gets slightly faster with each station, and multiple biomes that each offer unique challenges. Will you make it to the end? Probably not. But the fun of the game is the collaboration – who is getting what resources? Did you grab those rails? What path should we follow? It's a great way to develop collaboration and critical thinking skills with kids, and have a blast doing it.

Concerning content? Not a bit. Cross-platform play? Buttery smooth across all major platforms.

Wobbly Life

Ever have your kid complain about something (never happens, I know) and you tell them to “get a job”? Now they can!

Wobbly Life is like a kid-friendly open-world game (think Grand Theft Auto, but, like, legal), where kids complete jobs across a city, a secret island, caves, aircraft carrier, aliens, and much, much more. Drive all kinds of vehicles, adopt a pet, buy a house – it's a ton of fun exploring the range of activities available in this world. It's in early access now, but full release has been announced in September 2025 (with a space update!).

Concerning content? Non-graphic death when you enter water (you just go floppy), then respawn back on land. Cross-platform play? Available on most major platforms (Steam, Nintendo, etc.), but I haven't tried cross-play yet.

Open World Games

Full disclosure – I love generative open world games. I love the starting fresh, finding something new, and the endless possibilities each world offers. This has been a great fit for gaming with my kids, as it gives them room to explore without getting tied down by what they've done before. Here are some of the best.

Minecraft

Have you heard of this one? Might be a little under the radar. A voxel-based open world game with a range of biomes, amazing creatures, and a unique physics system that lets you build whatever you can imagine. But watch out for the monsters that come out at night!

It's super-easy to pick up, but hard to master. You likely won't be playing through the story on this one, but rather spend your time spelunking the caves and building wondrous structures across it's range of biomes. There is also a deep modding store and community for the game, so the possibilities are endless.

Concerning content? There are some elements of fear and cartoon violence here – your kid will scream as they're chased by zombies and giant spiders, then breathe a sigh of relief after cutting them down with their sword. However, it's nothing worse than they'd find in a Minions movie.

Cross-platform play? Look, this game runs great on basically every platform in existence.

No Man's Sky

One of the best sci-fi games ever made, No Man's Sky lets you explore an endless universe planet by planet, system by system. While this is technically a game for grown-ups, it's also a blast with kids, if only to explore all of the different planets, check out the bizarre creatures, and use creative mode to build your own cities in unbelievably gorgeous locales.

Concerning content? You can play the game entirely as a pacifist, or there can be minor violence and fear if you get chased by the robot sentinels or have to shoot down a wandering predator.

Cross-platform play? Terrific across every major system (pun intended).

Starbound

Think of Starbound as a block based, 2D pixelated version of No Man's Sky, complete with expansive exploration, mining, farming, and combat. It may be a little harder to pick up than some of the other games, but once you understand the logic behind the controls and inventory, it offers a universe of possibilities.

It's unfortunately not controller friendly, and really best played on PC with keyboard and mouse for now. However, it's great for some drop-in co-op play on multiple computers.

Concerning content? There is a bit of violence, as combat is common mechanic in the game. That said, you can easily play as a pacifist on peaceful planets after the initial sequence if you'd just prefer just to mine, farm, and build.

Cross-platform play? Simple and works great.

Don't Starve Together

A somewhat macabre entry in the open-world survival genre, Don't Starve Together is still a great time for older kids looking for something different. Along with common mechanics like hunger, crafting, hunting, and farming, there is also an interesting “sanity” mechanic where, the longer you go without sleep, the less sanity you have and the more monsters come out at night. Sleep is important!

Concerning content? There is mild violence (hunting, fighting monsters) as well as creepy fear from the monsters. However, it's not excessive – somewhere between Desmond Cole and Goosebumps.

Cross-platform play? Available on all systems, and I can verify that multiplayer works great on Steam.

Collaborative Games

These games focus on teamwork and collective problem solving to beat the game. Since all of the puzzles or worlds are pre-baked, there tends to be less replay value with the games – but they're great to play through, put down for a while, then come back to a few months or years later.

Pico Park

Looking for simple, colorful, collaborative puzzle game to play with kids of all ages? This is a perfect one to start with. The controls are straightforward, the puzzles are easy to grasp and can only be solved by working effectively together. An absolute blast – highly recommended.

Concerning content? Not a bit.

Cross-platform play? Looks like it's only available on Steam and Nintendo Switch, but works great in both remote- and local-co-op on Steam.

Pikuniku

A close cousin to Pico Park, pretty much all of the same observations apply. Pikuniku's puzzles are a bit more complex, involving switches, doors, some moving objects, but it's easy to see how they all fit together. Overall, though, simply a blast for couch co-op.

Concerning content? Nada.

Cross-platform play? Again, looks like it's only available on Steam and Nintendo Switch, but works great in both remote- and local-co-op on Steam.

Fling to the Finish

You know those three-legged races, where your leg is tied to your partner's leg, and you have to work together to be able to run effectively? Yeah, that's this game, except you are both balls connected by a string, and you can arbitrarily stick to things. So basically the same deal.

Across a range of clever and challenging courses, you and your partner will need to work together to climb up walls, cross pitfalls, and avoid getting would around obstacles. It's a great adventure in problem solving and team work.

Concerning content? Nope.

Cross-platform play? Steam-only for now, but terrific for both remote and couch co-op play.

Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime

This is a great, multi-player spaceship-management sim in the vein of Void Crew, Pulsar, and Jump Ship, but targeted for the junior set. You and your kids can fly very own customizable spaceship through a 2D universe full of colorful asteroids, space monsters, and other creatures! You will need to take turns managing navigation, shields, and more to accomplish your mission. (And the soundtrack is great!)

A warning: I've had some minor controller assignment issues with a larger number of players – controller would randomly switch in the middle of a game, or control two avatars at a time. However, it works great for a mix of control modes (M+K along with wired and wireless controllers), and is a blast to play.

Concerning content? This game does feature cartoon weapons and destroying cartoon bad guys, and there is some mild stress and fear as you work your way through some more challenging levels.

Cross-platform play? Available on all major platforms, although I've only played it via Steam couch co-op.

Ship of Fools

This is another ship management game for 1-2 players. In a briny cartoon world, you'll navigate your ship past a range of different challenging enemies to stop the Aquapocalypse! The main game cycle focuses on loading/aiming/firing the cannons on board your ship at the various enemies, then using power-ups and upgrades to get progressively further on the map over time. It's a tough game, but lots of fun, especially when your team gets in the swing of things. Great for older kids!

Concerning content? This game features cartoon weapons against cartoon enemies, with mild fear and stress as the battles grow in intensity.

Cross-platform play? Available on all major platforms, although I've only played it via Steam couch and remote co-op (which worked great!)

Competitive Games

While working together is great, sometimes challenging each other is great, too. The games below offer a variety of different family-friendly competition for all skill levels. Be aware, though – all of these games have winners and losers, and so make sure your kids are ready to be either!

Ultimate Chicken Horse

Ultimate Chicken Horse is a 2D platformer with a terrific game loop. First, you add items to the course. Then, you play the course with your friends – first to the end wins. Then, add more stuff, and play again. Success is determined by building a course that you can beat but your opponents can't. Filled with creative traps and challenges, it can go a ton of different directions based on who you're playing with. You and your kids will have a lot of fun exploring the creative possibilities of this game.

Concerning content? While this a cartoon game focused on co-op, there are some mild thematic elements – laser beams, saws, and other environmental weapons will kill characters, with a little splash of blood whenever that happens.

Cross-platform play? Available on all major platforms, although I've only played it via Steam couch and remote co-op (which worked great!)

Boomerang Fu

A super fun, stylized arena fighter, you and your food-themed team battle other food-themed opponents with boomerangs and other weapons on a range of creative courses. Controls are easy to pick-up, battles are fast and chaotic – it's always a blast!

Concerning content? Cartoon violence with silly weapons against, like, anthropomorphic pizza.

Cross-platform play? Available on every major platform, and cross-play works great!

Bopl Battle

Bopl Battle is a fast-paced 2D platform battler in the vein of Smash Bros. However, instead of the focus being on an assortment of pre-built characters, every player gets to customize essentially the same character with a huge array of offensive and defensive weapons, mapped to the controller exactly as you like. The environments can also be manipulated with certain weapons, making every experience unique.

Battles are very fast – you can knock someone out in a few seconds with a well-aimed shot, and it's unusual for a battle to last over a minute. Every round is a blast, though – every time we play this game, my kids and I spend the whole time laughing.

Concerning content? There's a huge variety of cartoon weapons, and you (playing as a slime) get splattered when you're killed. No blood or gore, though.

Cross-platform play? Unfortunately only on Steam for Windows. However, this game was built for couch co-op and controllers.

Racing Games

There are a ton of great, kid-friendly racing games out there, but these two are standouts for me.

Mario Kart

Look – Mario Kart never misses. It's a perfect racing game for all ages and skill levels. Just pick any random Mario Kart game, and it is the best family-friendly racing game of it's era.

The only downside is that it is a Nintendo-exclusive – unless...🏴‍☠️

Concerning content? A variety of cartoon weapons, but more annoyance than violence when you get hit. If you blow-up or fall off, you just get reset to your last position.

Cross-platform play? Nintendo only, but great for couch co-op.

Beach Buggy Racing 2

This game is like a low-budget Mario Kart – a variety of characters and vehicles that are more...realistic(?) than it's Mario-universe peers, as well as a clever variety of power-ups and courses. And it's available on platforms outside of Nintendo!

The one other thing to recommend this game is it's very deep story mode that ramps difficulty well and challenges players to develop their skills at racing, driving, and combat.

But if you just want couch co-op with a light-hearted combat racer? It's a great choice.

Concerning content? There are a variety of cartoon weapons, including rockets. However, they are more annoying than violent. If you get hit or off course, you just get reset to the course, no muss or fuss.

Cross-platform play? Works great on a variety of platforms (including Android!), and couch co-op is great with controllers.

Farming Sims

There's a multitude of family-friend farming sims available now at a range of price points – these are the two that I've played and recommend.

Stardew Valley

The game that launched a thousand farming-sim clones, this a great experience for kids of all ages. After inheriting a farm from your grandfather, you leave your depressing city job for the rural life. Meet a cast of colorful characters, gather resources, build your farm, enjoy festivals, and maybe meet the love of your life? All in delightful pixel graphics and easy-to-use controls. This game can be as simple or as deep as you would like, and there is always more to explore.

Concerning content? A key mechanic is fighting cartoon enemies in mines with basic weapons. Killing an enemy simply means they disappear and drop some loot, though, so nothing graphic. You can also get killed, but then you just wake up in your house. There are also minor thematic elements in that you can romance other characters and have babies – although, as in life, this is optional.

Cross-platform play? Yep, and it's available on every major platform.

Farming Simulator 22

If you/your kid are into more realistic farming experiences, this one is a great option. Create your own farm in your choice of beautiful locales, plant, harvest, sell, build, all to your heart's content with a range of real world farm vehicles and buildings.

Concerning content? Not at all.

Cross-platform play? Yep, also works great across every major platform.

What did I miss? What would you recommend? I'd love your thoughts – ping me on Mastodon here. Thanks for reading!

Tales of a Quite Peculiar Cat – Volume 1

By Rubyn Frey

Our tale begins in Elsweyer, with a kit who was a little too curious, finding herself amongst the feet of the elders in the markets or climbing onto the low sloping roofs and finding hiding spots to overhear the more noble Khajiit or visiting Justicas.

Our kit, Ji'sari, had a way of quite deliberately being in the wrong place at the wrong time, being marched back to her parents after learning the very thing she was seeking, very often smiling to herself.

~——————————~

On one such occasion, Ji’sari, her green eyes glinting in the sunlight, had been intent on reaching the warehouse where her father worked to hear his fate after an accident had led to his position being placed in jeopardy. Ji’sari had been forbidden from visiting the warehouse at any time, and knew that if she were seen then she would be in more trouble than a fish in the desert sands. Climbing from an upper floor window, Ji’sari made her way across the lower rooftop, and leapt to the next, the warehouse was in a lower district near the city walls so she had to drop to the ground and carefully climb the next building without being seen.

It took most of the afternoon for Ji’sari to reach the warehouse, local people and merchants milling around the streets, the occasional pickpocket unseen by most, but quietly observed from her various hiding places upon the rooftops.

Waiting outside of the warehouse were a small number of heavily armed Cathay-raht, the largest of the two-legged Khajiit, wearing the mark of the Justicars, not the ruling classes. Ji’sari was perched in a small nook on the rooftop opposite, still observing the movements below, wondering how to reach the building where her father was due to learn his fate.

Noticing an increasing number of people coming through the street, Ji’sari quietly dropped from the roof and mingled amongst the legs of crowd until they passed close by the warehouse, noting that some old broken crates were stacked haphazardly against the wall where she could hide amongst them.

Once the crowd cleared the kit looked for a way up, knowing that small though she was, the crates could not be trusted to support her. A shuttered window gave her a way up, Ji’sari was glad that she was still allowed to run barefoot, her claws being quite helpful for climbing.

The roof space was clear, only guarded at night when opportunist thieves prowled the district. Creeping across the roof, she tried to identify where her father and his employer were meeting, her keen ears picking up on a heated conversation on the far side.

Moving very slowly she approached the voices, just able to make out her father's amongst the others, more than three people were in the room below it seemed. Settling down atop the roof to listen in, Ji’sari failed to notice the creaking below her, ears straining to hear the words spoken below. As one of the voices grew louder, and accusations were being made toward her father by a rather haughty mer, the roof below her gave way, Ji’sari landing in a cloud of dust upon a desk.

A rather plump Khajiit, clad in silks sat down heavily upon a chair behind him, raising a bejewelled hand to his brow. A Justicar stepped forward and dragged the kit to her feet upon the desk. Her father, a weathered old thing, shuffled his feet as a second Justicar surveyed the hole above them.

“So, what do we have here? A thief, a spy?” Mused the first Justicar, “hmm, I wonder...”

“No,” interrupted her father, “this one is mine.”

“She's a rather cute little thing, for a cat,” the second Justicar rubbed one of Ji’sari's ears while the kit bit her tongue.

A large sigh came from the larger Khajiit as he stood and placed his palms together, “this one senses that it is time to bring matters to a close before the moons are high and hot sands are pleasant underfoot.”

“Very well, we are not tyrants, however the goods cannot easily be replaced, therefore some recompense is expected.”

“Khajiit is a hard worker, the value of this cannot be underestimated,” the Khajiit bowed his head, “you will have your recompense, but Khajiit keeps his position.”

The Justicars nodded in return, and turned to leave, pausing, the first Justicar turned to Ji’sari, “I have my eye on you cat.”

The door closed and the three Khajiit breathed deeply.

~——————————~

#Fiction #ElderScrolls

Of course I'm just kidding, as far as I know there are no notifications in Writefreely, so it's just shouting in the wind. But even shouting in the wind could be therapeutic, and given I'm often sitting upon a mountain's peak, I know it very well.

But I digress, it's still August, so maybe let's start with a catch up first.

Keeping this in theme with summer, just like the waves of the sea, the last period throw me up, and then down, just to pick me up and throw me down again and so forth.

Well, I can breath again

After TWO years since the last visit and after uh...some more (twenty seven if anyone is counting) since a mix of rugby, martial arts and a bike accident left me with a crooked nose, I finally went under surgery in May to fix my deviate septum. Aside from the two months following surgery (that I call repectively “the ouch month” and “the ew month”, I honestly couldn't remember the last time I was to able to breathe like this. The only downside is that I couldn't workout during these months. But I can breathe, that's something.

It's just a winter coat

Not being able to workout during the last months was hard, I'm not going to lie. Working out is a powerful source of mental health that we often underestimate. I may or may not have typed “no working out and no hiking makes Alex a dull boy” several times. To add insult to the injury, my treadmill (I hate running on the street of the city I'm living in with the burning hate of a thousand suns) broke down a few weeks ago. And so while I was waiting for it to be repaired I bought a rower.

This thing is essentially a medieval torture device, I'm quite sure of it, but it's making me aching happily in every part of my body, making me feel better (and well, worse, muscularly speaking).

As far as my other passion, hiking, I went back at it as soon as I could, but we had a long period full of thunderstorms and most of the time I had to cancel my plans. I have no issues at all with extreme wind, snow, rain and other stuff, but I don't want to be near the peak of a mountain when thunders come down.

Have a very low-effort meme as a treat for reading 'til this point.

The not so big D

I'm still taking antidepressants. Long story short, things happened during the last years between work and private life and my therapist suggested me using antidepressant in February, 19th.

The first few weeks were...ugh, I honestly can't say how to describe them. They were just bad, but fortunately nothing too extreme. As time went by, my body got accustomed and I'm still on these. They took quite the edge off from all the bad things that happened, but they took also the joy from the good things that happened. While I understand they were (and probably still are) needed, I'm counting down the days to when I won't be needing them.

It's a marathon, not a race, but the concept it's the same. Step after step, forward. And forward I go.

I'll probably talk about the reasons that led me to the not so big D in a future post, or I'll never complete this one this week.

#Depression #Workout #Health

Meet Mortenth the Gnome Warlock. I’m planning on playing and blogging what he gets up to, to try to see the world through the eyes of someone playing for the first time. I don’t know how long I’ll manage to keep updating, but I’ll do it for as long as I am having fun.

Without further ado; here he is! Sadly I only get chance to play of an evening when the lighting is awful 'outside' in Azeroth. I quickly realised I can’t do this without any addons, it would drive me mad. They aren’t the point of this, but I have chosen a short list of what I think of as mandatory ones.

• ElvUI
• AdiBags
• AutoCompare
• BetterVendorPrice
• Immersion
• Postal
• Auctionator
• Memento

ElvUI took a chunk of my available time to configure. I’m playing on my laptop so my screen is smaller than usual, so I had to tweak things quite a lot before I was happy. My action bars took the longest. And as a result, here is what my interface will look like while I am playing. First quest from Sten. Don’t think I’d realised he had such a weird name. He wants me to go kill some wolves, because of course he does! Looking at my action bar, I never understood why they load up newbie casters with a melee attack on button 1. Then my 3rd spell is only Demon Skin, so I foresee a lot of spamming shadow bolt in my future. My first kill! Shadowbolt is a good spell, as far as they go. But I wish I had a few more to play with. With my first few kills, comes my first bit of upgrade loot, a grey item. Still, it’ll keep my feet warmer than my existing Acolyte’s Shoes. And after all that, I shall call it a night. Most of my play time was eaten by configuring ElvUI. Thank goodness I still remembered how to do most of it, I’d have seriously run out of patience if I’d not had the benefit of previous years worth of experience.

A few thoughts as I log off. When I first started playing back in 2005 I had no idea what the game was, what the classes were, how anything worked. I chose my class purely based on the fact Warlocks had pet demons and it sounded really cool. She lasted me until about level 23, at which point I started a priest and never looked back, it’s rare I have played a non-healer character ever since. So this feels like going back to my roots, but also getting back out of my comfort zone. One thing I am really looking forward to getting my first pet, and finding out its name!

Hello Fedora enthusiasts and Linux gamers! If you're like me, you love the power and flexibility of Linux for gaming and content creation. OBS Studio is an incredible tool for streaming and recording, and running it as a Flatpak on Fedora offers a super convenient way to keep it updated and manage it's dependencies.

But what if i told you there's a way to get even better performance when capturing your vulkan-based games?

This isn't your standard window or screen grab. vkcapture is a specialized method for hooking directly into Vulkan games.

Why should you care about vkcapture?

Performance Boost: We're talking potentially significant reductions in overhead compared to other capture methods. This means smoother gameplay for you, and smoother video for you audience.

Direct Capture: It taps right into the game's rendering pipeline. Many users might miss out on this because it's not always the default or most obvious option. That's why i consider it an “underrated gem”, especially for us Linux users.

2. The Scenario: Flatpak OBS Meets Native Linux Games

So, here's the setup we're tackling:

You've got OBS Studio installed as a Flatpak from Flathub (directly or via your package manager) on your awesome Fedora system.

You're playing Vulkan-based games that are installed natively on Fedora (i.e., native Steam client, Lutris, Heroic Game Launcher etc.). This is a common and great setup! But when you try to use vkcapture in this scenario, you might hit a snag.

3. The “Catch”: Why Vkcapture Might Not Just Work Out-Of-The-Box

You open your Flatpak OBS, see the “Game Capture” source option, and get excited. But when you try to capture your native Vulkan game.. nothing. Or, it simply doesn't work as expected. What gives?

Here's the crucial bit:

For vkcapture to do its magic, your Vulkan game needs to load a special component called a Vulkan layer. Think of it as a small piece of software that sits between your game and your graphics driver, allowing vkcapture to access the game's rendered frames.

The Problem:

Your natively installed game lives outside the OBS Flatpak's isolated world (its “sandbox”). It typically can't “see” or use any Vulkan layers that might be bundled inside the Flatpak. So, even if Flatpak OBS has the vkcapture plugin ready to receive data, your native game doesn't know how to send it because it can't load the necessary layer.

This is the “missing piece” we're going to put in the place!

4. The Solution: Building the Vkcapture Vulkan Layer Natively on Fedora

To bridge this gap, we need to build and install the vkcapture Vulkan layer directly onto our Fedora system, making it accessible to our native games. Don't worry, it sounds more intimidating that it is! Let's break it down.

A. Getting the source code for obs-vkcapture

First, we need the source code for the obs-vkcapture layer.

git clone https://github.com/nowrep/obs-vkcapture.git
cd obs-vkcapture

B. Installing Build Dependencies on Fedora

Next, we'll gear up our Fedora system with the tools and libraries needed to compile the layer.

Open your terminal and run:

sudo dnf install gcc gcc-c++ make \
    obs-studio-devel \
    vulkan-headers \
    vulkan-loader-devel \
    mesa-libGL-devel \
    mesa-libEGL-devel \
    libX11-devel \
    libxcb-devel \
    wayland-devel \
    wayland-protocols-devel

C. Building the plugin

Inside the obs-vkcapture folder, create a build directory and enter it:

mkdir build
cd build

Compile the plugin

cmake .. -DCMAKE_BUILD_TYPE=Release -DCMAKE_INSTALL_PREFIX=/usr
make

D. Installing the Layer Natively

Once compiled, we need to install the Vulkan layer files to the correct system directories so your games and the Vulkan loader can find them. This usually involves two main files: the shared object (.so) library and a JSON manifest file.

The good news is that this whole procedure will automatically be completed by executing the following command:

#Inside the build directory
sudo make install

E. Reboot Your Machine

5. Configuring and Using Vkcapture with Flatpak OBS

Alright, the native vkcapture layer is built and installed! Now, let's get it working with your Flatpak OBS.

This is where you tell your native Vulkan game to use the layer we just installed.

The most common way is by setting an environment variable when launching the game.

1. Steam

How to access Launch Options:

1. In your Steam Library, right-click on the game you want to capture.
2. Select “Properties...”.
3. In the “General” tab, you'll find a text box labeled “LAUNCH OPTIONS”.

What to enter:

obs-gamecapture %command%

Note: the %command% part is crucial for Steam; it tells Steam to substitute in the actual game executable and its arguments at that point.

2. Lutris

How to access settings:

a. In Lutris, right-click on the game. b. Select “Configure”. c. Go to the “System options” tab.

In the “System options” tab, find the field labeled “Command prefix”. Enter the following into this field:

obs-gamecapture

d. Click “Save”

3. Heroic Games Launcher

How to access settings:

a. Open Heroic Games Launcher and select the game you want to configure. b. Click on the “Settings” icon for that specific game. c. You'll see sections as shown in your image: “Wrapper command” and “Environment Variables”. d. Locate the “Wrapper command” section. 3. In the field labeled “Wrapper”, enter:

obs-gamecapture

The field next to it labeled “Arguments” (or “Wrapper Arguments”) should generally be left blank when using obs-gamecapture this way. The obs-gamecapture script is designed to precede the main game command that Heroic will launch. 4. Save the settings if there's a save button, or Heroic might auto-save.

5. Adding the Source in OBS Studio

With your game running (and the layer loaded), it's time to add it in OBS:

• Open OBS Studio.
• In the “Sources” dock, click the + button.
• Select “Game Capture”
• A properties dialog will appear and press ok

6. Conclusion

And there you have it! By building the vkcapture Vulkan layer natively on your Fedora system, you've bridged the gap to your Flatpak OBS installation, unlocking potentially much smoother and more performant captures of your native Vulkan games.

It might seem like a few extra steps, but the payoff in quality and performance can be well worth it for serious streamers and content creators. Plus, you've learned a bit more about how Vulkan layers and Flatpak sandboxing interact!

Happy gaming and capturing! Let me know in the comments how this worked for you or if you have any other tips!

For a couple of years, I had a pair of plastic handled NHS supplied trauma scissors that were jagged edged, blunt ended and a little flimsy- but ultimately they got the job done, most of the time. However they sometimes fell short and required more rough and inefficient effort in certain situations where you really needed them and left you wishing you could simply carry a pair of garden secateurs around with you, were it permitted. Enter, the Leatherman Raptor scissors. Cleverly (perhaps unnecessarily) named like an ultimate dream toy that every child begs their parents for their birthday or christmas present, they were unbeatable in performance. They folded neatly and satisfyingly into a plastic holster that could be worn wherever was most suitable for you. I first spotted them in action on a paramedic when I did a day on the ambulances and watched on dreamily -like I was watching someone ridiculously attractive walking out of the sea like a James Bond shot- as these scissors effortlessly cut through the things that were thrown at it. As well as having a solidly built construction with a reliably sharp blade, they were equipped with a foldable sharp hook implement for cutting through seatbelts or varying cases of clothing/strap removal without harming flesh underneath. They also have a tiny non-sharp point of metal on the end of them for shattering tempered glass safely without sending big chucks of it flying ie, getting into a crashed car. We don’t need this in ED obviously, but it’s a cool little extra to have for bragging points. Finally, they also have a small section to the blade closest to the handles which is used for cutting wire or thick pieces of metal. Overall, a very multi purpose instrument for a variety of purposes out in the field. Perhaps a little overkill for an emergency department- but I always swore in my ED practice that it is better to have it and not need it than it is to need it and not have it.

After being unable to justify the cost of them, my dad (ever a man for a shiny toy) bought them for me as a present. I was ecstatic, and was soon wearing mine on a holster on my trousers, quietly feeling like I had a hidden superpower- my super scissors ready to whip out at a moments notice to seemingly uncuttable things. They actually come with a little bit of stigma amongst other nurses. They’re seen as a bit of a ‘boy’s toy’ and unnecessary. Semi jokingly, comments will be thrown around about them being used to ‘compensate’ for a lack of something else- however, these same people fall tellingly silent when they cry out for another pair of scissors when their NHS ones fail and are instead handed a pair like mine. They hand them back as casually as they can, struggling to contain how much they approve of them. Come on guys, admit it- you like the shiny scissors. You do, don’t you!

Several years have passed since I got these scissors, and they still they sit in front of me, ready to go. I look at them sat on my desk in their holster with silent pride as I realise that they have been one constant at my side on the frontline throughout my nursing career. They’ve endured all the traumatic situations I’ve faced, as well as the light hearted, every day encounters.

Bandages. Thousands, upon thousands of thankless tangled and bloodstained dressings.

Clothes. Denim, khaki, leather belts, pants, clean or soiled.

Bra’s. Sadly not a reflection of my sexual escapades. As you may well know, bra’s usually have a metal wire in them- and this same metal wire is the arch enemy of the NHS scissors but no match for the inestimable leathermans and their wielder. I should note, we aren’t going round briskly cutting off people’s bra’s without a moments notice. In a cardiac arrest or a rapidly deteriorating patient where there is no time to dilly dally as we need quick access to their chest, everything must come off. You do not have time to piss about trying to sit them up removing clothes over their head and fiddling with that bastard stubborn metal bra clip at the back.

A Budweiser bottle. Nestled inside the inner chest pocket of a stabbed patient who had been thrown out the back of a car at our doors. I recoiled in terror as for a split second I was petrified that I was somehow impossibly cutting through the ribs of the patient- also not an entirely impossible sensation, as you’ll discover later in this book.

A rolled up bundle of twenty pound notes. Again, pockets of a trauma patient. I didn’t count how much was there, but it went clean through the bundle. The patient was a drug dealer. I chalk that down as one of my small parts in the war on drugs. Me and the leatherman scissors: saving the public from crappy bandages by day, ridding the streets of dirty money by night.

Countless plaster casts. Plaster of Paris, that is. Often we’ll put on temporary plaster casts for a patient with a severe fracture- usually when the fracture has been displaced or dislocated, meaning we have to manipulate it back into a normal position and then plaster cast it to keep it in place. We then do a follow up X-ray to check it is in the right place. If it isn’t, you cut it off and reapply accordingly.

Metal wire, ie barbed wire or fencing wire. The big brother of bra wire. The scissors have a wire cutting section on them that has you feeling like you’re doing a bomb defusal, deftly and effortlessly snipping away at the wire liberating the entangled patient. Usually farmers or cyclists.

A makeshift noose made of bandages. As I knocked on the door of a toilet where a patient of mine had gone in, I heard a gargling/choking noise from within and peered through the crack of the door- to be met by the sight of a dangling, kicking patient flinging around. Wrenching the handle down as I barged the stiff and ill fitting door open with my shoulder while shouting for help, in one swift swipe I snipped the bandages and lowered the patient to the floor as safely as I could (trying to catch a rag dolling human being is not an elegant process, it’s a “just do what you can” situation). I almost felt like there was smoke coming off the end of the scissors as I slowly holstered them again, like a Wild West movie.

Cutouts of children’s card masks, sections of colouring books. As I sat cross legged on the floor of a cubicle with a feverish, grouchy and crying toddler, I snipped out the outline of a Spiderman mask remarking at how overkill these scissors must look- but hey, the children are laughing while I pose with my ridiculous tellytubby/spiderman/paw patrol paper mask and make the accompanying stupid noises. The pure belly giggles of the child providing welcome relief to all from the previous pained screeching of pain and discomfort from whatever illness or injury they had.

Sternums. Several sternums. Yes, the bit of bone in the centre of your chest. During a thoracotomy, part of the procedure involves cutting across the chest in order to access your heart to provide cardiac massage and address any internal wounds- a barrier to which is the sternum which is usually sawed through using a piece of serrated wire that you hold either end of in your hand, pulling alternatingly back and forth to cut through it. Or, if you have a good, strong and sharp pair of scissors, you can just snip through.

Many wedding rings. When your finger/hand are swelling for whatever the reason is at the time, you simply MUST remove the wedding ring else you run the risk of cutting the circulation off to the finger entirely, which would eventually lead to the finger going necrotic/needing to be amputated. You can start with simple wriggling, soap, water, whatever method you can of non destructive removal- but if all else has failed with trying to remove the ring, they need to be cut off. The wire cutting section of the leathermans serves this purpose perfectly, depending on the size and thickness of the ring.

My trusty scissors, that never let me down. They are an inanimate object and are not sentient, I know this- but with them I share some of the most traumatic and meaningful memories and events of my nursing career. They are a relic of it, if you will. If ever there were to be a trophy of my time in the ED, it would be these. Their now battle worn bladed edge blunted slightly by the countless sternums, wires and metal clothes fasteners be it poppers or zips. Their stains of bleaching from whenever they were washed of whatever bodily fluids they cut through, now rusting slightly. I sometimes think about framing them, knowing that no one else would ever get it- they’re just a pair of overly fancy, overly complicated and unnecessary scissors. But they were my fancy, overcomplicated and unnecessary scissors.

Make a merchant – 6 points split into charm, force and wit, minimum one each – start with 6 coins and 2 cargo – starting cargo: draw 3 pairs of 2 cards, then pick a pair – 0 renown – optional background and goal

Starting settlement – roll for position on board – roll for size of settlement – optional roll for features and situation

Three choice of actions per day in settlement, spend one extra gold for extra stays (first night one gold, second night 2 gold etc) – trade cargo – draw cargo cards based on settlement size – joker = unique with 3d6 value – ace = high demand, 10+1d6 – jack queen king 11 12 13 – haggling: throw dice equal to charm, roll for each individual good – take contract – draw card for delivery, escort, courier or procurement. Roll dice for location if needed – roll 2d6 for coin reward – spend money – build road to negate challenges – buy companion – extend road

Moving on – roll for wilderness or settlement – if settlement, repeat from starting location, plus rolling for situation – if wilderness, roll for traverse difficulty, optionally roll for terrain feature – if low difficulty, no penalty, keep moving – if high difficulty, roll for challenge type, deal with it before moving on

Overcoming challenge – pick an appropriate stat to deal with the challenge. Stat minus one = number of rolls with advantage – roll until number of success or failure reached, whichever comes first – if fully dealt with challenge, gain one renown – if failed, lose either coin, cargo or renown

Game over if bankrupt Game won if self appointed goal reached

Example of goals: – max renown (default 9) – connect all settlements with roads – cure cancer

...well you know.

Sometimes I wonder about how we, as a kind, went too far up on the self-esteem ladder. We put ourselves in the middle of the universe and everything around us is something we should put to use, and if we can't, then it's bound to be useless.

Woa, let that sink in for a moment. I'm not going down this road and make it all about us, but instead, I'll write about time. Just like we did with every other thing, time followed the same binary process: time well spent, wasted time. Given that time is linear and only moving forward, maybe the binary separation is right, maybe it's not.

Because, and again I wonder, where we draw the line between the time well spent and the wasted time? This is exclusively personal, although we may or may not be subject to different global trends. The one that makes my gears grind (cue to What really grind my gears by Peter Griffin) is generally considering time well spent the time in which we are at the center of our actions/thoughts.

The famous “me” time.

Mind this, spending “you” time is absolutely ok and to be fair, it's a good practice, so please do, it will help your mental health a great deal.

What isn't really a good practice tho, is accompanying this “me” time with the whole I'm-in-the-middle-of-the-universe concept. But, but, but, the “me” time should be about me! someone would scream in terror. And I'd answer that yes, it should be about you, but not you against everyone else. And if you got the gist of the post, that someone is an angry wolf howling about how he's at the center of his own universe and his time is sacred.

There's a certain grace in spending your “me” time being gentle towards others, may those be an animal, a plant, another person. Being a gentle wolf. Help someone else, just gave them a smile, a pat on the back. It's a simple gesture but you don't know what will do and how will change your life or the other (like, ever heard of the Butterfly effect ?).

I personally consider “me” time even using social media, because I get to talk about my interests, videogames, trekkin, chatting with amazing people and generally learning something knew every day. And my gentle wolf heart is shattered, seeing that most of the time the current trend is about weaving a digital pitchfork against others, snarling and clawing at everything, like a pack of angry wolves.

I'm no guru and I'm no smart man, but if you'd like to try something else and see how it goes, remember that

In a world where you can be anything, be kind

#ShowerThoughts #Time #BeGentle

I fondly remember many an encounter with him. Whether that’s him hanging onto the feet of an acutely aggressive and violent patient (either by drugs or brain injury, we weren’t sure at that time) while we prepared to sedate them, and he’d still crack a smile at me with his “nice weather today innit H??” as he clung onto what seemed like a Tasmanian Devil.

One such encounter with James involved a woman who had taken some horrendous unknown concoction of drugs, and was on the back of the ambulance going absolutely berserk- assaulting the paramedics, trashing the ambulance and shouting and roaring incoherently. You could see the ambulance rocking sideways as you stood outside of it. We scrambled to prepare our special room for her- a closed off cubicle with 1 way opening doors, roll down shutters (so medical equipment attached to the wall couldn’t be damaged) and padded walls. Whilst this was going on, police were desperately being called in order to assist with what was going to be fairly advanced/complex restraint as we brought her inside. All of the security guards were very reluctant and spent a lot of time just planning how to get her out. James had come on shift and hobbled over to the cacophony.

“Awright. Oi, what’s goin’ on ‘ere?’ He said, gesturing to the swaying ambulance.

The young and somewhat impressionable security guards hastily tried to explain what was going on.

“Oh forkin’ ‘ell.” He mumbled to himself, disappointed that the others hadn’t dealt with it. He went to the ambulance doors and flung them open, to which the crazed woman directed her cacophony of roaring and shouting at him instead of the paramedics. He lumbered up the step, grabbed her by the scruff of her hoodie as she clawed at him, and hauled her back out of the ambulance with her at arms length, and shuffled down the corridor with her like a feral cat in his hands scratching at his arms and yelling incoherently.

“which room?” he grumbled to me, unfazed. I figured that he’s had years of this that by now he’d probably formed a natural thick callus of skin on his arms, as the woman’s scratches and pulls did nothing.

“Room 10 mate, all good to go. Need a hand….?” I replied emptily, knowing he wouldn’t.

“Cheers H” he said, and booted the doors open with a free leg.

“Gerroff’ me arm...forkin’…gerrof’, there y’are, gerrin, get…in’” he grumped, shaking his arms trying to release the woman as though he was trying to shake a bit of sticky tape off. She soon released and James shut the doors, turned around and slowly lowered himself laboriously onto the chair that had been left outside the room. I half pictured him picking up a TV remote to turn on the football, he’d sat down that casually.

I mean, not the most conventional or recommended methods of getting someone like that in, but it worked and he wasn’t bothered what she spat or scratched at him. Before he’d arrived, we were clearly at a stalemate. Waiting for police, waiting for security, waiting for a room, waiting for her to calm down, waiting for it to be safe. No decisions being made. She was trashing the ambulance (which would have taken it off the road for repair), assaulting the ambulance crew and anyone that came near, and police were too busy to be able to respond within any reasonable timeframe- she was a danger not only to herself but also members of the public and staff. He saw what needed doing, and just did it. Thank god for James.

Another time, I remember seeing a patient (we’ll call him Michael) who was coming down off a cocaine high, he too had been violent and aggressive, consistently rude and racist to staff, always swearing and gobbing off, but had since calmed down and was more just being a general twat, rude, racist and swaggering about with a smug and entitled face (Ok I’ll say it, it …was one of those very punchable faces). Not that punching it would have made any difference- he only had 3 teeth left. If he hadn’t have taken a shit ton of cocaine, he’d have long since been booted out. If we were to discharge him, against his wishes, with adverse observations as he did and then he went and collapsed and had a heart attack in the street that would very much go against us.

So, we were transferring this guy to a ward. I had to take him, so that I could hand him over to the relevant people. James came on escort, as is usual with these cases. Of course, Michael was loving this. He got to look like he was well ‘ard, that he needed to be held back by security- his yellow 3 toothed smile brimming as he strode through the corridors of A&E with me and James. All of a sudden, something triggered him and he flew off the handle at me immediately in the middle of the corridor.

“You sayin’ I’ve got shitty teeth?! What you saying?! You saying I’ve got shitty teeth! You fucking want a fight do you mate I’ll do you one right here mate fucking come on I’ll do you one mate I’ll do you!!!” He yelled, flailing his arms about and launching himself towards me unsuccessfully as James just stood in between us both, disapprovingly- a bit like a big dog with a puppy gnawing at it’s jowls. I stood and waited for him to finish, as if I were waiting for a toddler to finish his tantrum.

A stray limp thwack landed on James’ head. Line, crossed. He had had enough. He grabbed Michael by the scruff of his collar with both hands and held him up to the wall.

“LISTEN mate if you carry on kicking off in ‘ere, I’ll make sure you’ve got NO fookin’ teeth, AWRIGHT?!” He barked calmly at him in his usual gruff voice.

Michael put his 3 teeth away and his attitude withered, as he plodded up the corridor with us, tail in between his legs, and James looking irritated that he’d had to exert himself beyond a simple walk.

Again, unconventional and not really the recommended response, but it worked. What was the alternative? Let him escalate in the middle of A&E and need more security guards to come and pin him down until he calmed down? Talk him down and reassure him that of course he didn’t have shitty teeth? (We knew already he wouldn’t be talked down, he’d been spoiling for fight the whole time he’d been here)

The other side of James, I recall fondly that I witnessed in passing. A mental health patient had been brought in, going through a psychotic episode, and was at the point where she sat on the floor in the foetal position absolutely terrified of her surroundings and instinctively hit out at anyone that came close. James, all 6ft heft of him, sat crossed legged beside her on the floor with her for at least an hour before the mental health team came to take over- reassuring her and calming her down and telling her that she was in a safe place, no one was going to hurt her, he wasn’t going to let anyone hurt her. She’d stopped screaming and was no longer lashing out, and was cradling a cup of tea (normally in these cases we’ll offer water, as the contents usually get thrown over the nearest person. Clearly James had put her needs over his own.) She still didn’t want to engage with anyone, but she at least felt safe. That was James’ doing.

He’s alright, James is. Rough round the edges, doesn’t play by the book and won’t take any shit- but rugged, dependable and always looking out for the other person first. Yes, he’s a bit knackered and about ready to retire, but he’s alright. For now though, he’s still lumbering about the corridors, gruffly greeting everyone with his trademark pearly whites still, putting society’s arseholes to rights, and protecting those that need him.

1. Zeus: Dewa Olympus

Game strategi membangun klasik ini tetap abadi. Pemain membangun kota Yunani mereka sendiri, mengelola sumber daya, dan berinteraksi dengan makhluk mitologi. Grafik 2025 yang direvisi menampilkan tampilan baru yang efisien dan canggih.

2. Zeus: Guntur para Dewa

Game aksi multipemain tempat Zeus menggunakan Kreativitas Mythic. Pertarungan dinamis dan kemampuan pemain untuk bekerja sama menjadikan ini sebuah permainan.

3. Peri Zeus

Judul slot menarik yang membawa pemain dalam perjalanan melintasi Yunani kuno. Anda bisa memanfaatkan keberuntungan Zeus untuk menang besar.

4. Zeus: Bangkitnya Para Titan

Dalam game RPG, pemain berperan sebagai Zeus atau dewa lainnya. Dia dapat membantu Anda menyelesaikan tugas Titan dan menyelesaikan tugasnya. Dunia terbuka menawarkan banyak peluang untuk eksplorasi.

5. Zeus: Bentrokan Para Dewa

Sebuah strategi yang sangat menarik. Pemain dapat membangun pasukan dan bersaing dengan dewa lain untuk menguasai Olympus. Keterampilan taktis adalah yang terbaik!

Dunia game online akan diperkaya pada tahun 2025 dengan judul-judul menarik yang berpusat pada Zeus dan mitologi Yunani. Selain itu, dengan permainan strategi, RPG, atau permainan kasino, ini adalah hal yang baik untuk semua orang. Selami dunia para dewa dan alami petualangan seru!

It's -60C and partly cloudy on Etchell Minor, a distant planet with a landscape reminiscent of the Mediterranean. I've just spent the last few hours building structures with my boys on an outcrop by a windswept lake.

On a luxurious patio, my avatar is sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with my son's avatar as we watch an impossibly beautiful sunrise enchanting the sky and mirrored in the lake below.

I know this isn't real. This is a trick of sand and electricity, a manifestation in 1920x1080 pixels designed to activate something primal in my brain.

But it feels real. It feels close. It feels profound. In my heart, it carries a similar feeling and intensity as if I were watching the sunrise side by side with my son in some exotic locale on Earth.

It seems silly that a video game experience can be felt so deeply. It's not real, and it has never been real.

But I could say nearly the same thing about some of the most important moments in my life.

I think of the nights my boys were born, and the nights they were made. I remember the faces from endless weddings and graduations and funerals. I can still feel the shape of my father's body during the embrace I didn't know would be our last.

All of those events are over and gone, no longer real. The places and people have disappeared, vanished or reshaped into something else. All that remains are imperfect memories of feelings and sensations degraded over time, now representing something between “once was” and “never was”.

I look back on photos from these events, choked with emotion, and realize how much I've misremembered. The way I recall it today is not wrong, but not right either – true emotions from unreal memories of experiences which never quite existed.

As I look at the screen, I know everything I've built with my sons today is just data on a server. One day that server will shut down, and what was there will vanish. All that's left of the experience will be of the same substance as all of the other most precious moments in my life.

But today, this unreal experience gives me a moment to treasure twice over – once, playing with my sons in our snowbound home, and again, sitting shoulder to shoulder with them on an alien planet, witnessing a sunrise made of dreams.

Thursday

As I mentioned in the previous post, my father was a car seller, but he was also a mechanic (something about fully loving cars) and from time to time he helped his team. It was a Thursday when a tiny piece o metal slammed his hand whilst holding a car door. All that was left behind the accident was a simple and tiny cut. A silly stupid thing that many of us would cure with some spit on it.

That very night, he started having a high fever.

Friday

The G.P. made a prescription for some general antibiotics, and life continued forth. Despite the antibiotics, the fever continued to rise.

Saturday

After days of very high fever, Saturday was the day the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. I didn't go with them as I had to take my brother (who was 3 at the time) to our grandparents. I didn't visit him that day.

Sunday

Sunday came, and I went to play with a friend of mine. I've always been quite independent, even when I was a kid. I didn't visit him that day.

Monday

Another week started with a Monday and I went to school as usual: around 10 AM I was asked to get outside the class, just to find my mother hugging me – she isn't a hugging type – so I immediately understood something was wrong. They said to get all my stuff and get ready to go home and to this day, that felt like the longest trip I ever had; she told me my father went into a coma during the night and that morning he passed away due to complications and, she added, he whispered my name with his last breath or so it seems.

What I won't forgive

I'll never know if that was an apology or he was lucid dreaming of arguing with me. But this isn't the thing that I won't forgive, no.

What I'll never forgive myself is not visiting him.

Even though we weren't on best terms, not visiting him or saying goodbye destroyed me from the inside out for many years and sometimes, still do.

I've been stuck my whole adolescence in depression, all because I couldn't forgive. I couldn't forgive myself for not being there. I couldn't forgive myself for my sadness and rage, that tore down day by day the relationship with my mother. I couldn't forgive him for leaving my brother alone. I remember that period as the most intense emotional vortex, cristally clear.

But the future lies ahed

Almost 30 years have gone by since that day and pretty much like the wind, that could erode even the solidest rock, time has eroded me into who I am today. I've grown since that day, and while the unforgiving guilt is still within me, I chose many years ago to not be destroyed by it but using it instead as fuel for the furnace of my personal growth.

I'd love to go deeper about my life philosophy after all these years on Earth, but let's keep all of that for another post. About my father, what I've learnt and I live by is that

Everything deserve a moment of your time, may it be a person, an animal, a plant, an object. Every moment spent thinking that your time is too precious to waste is in fact a wasted moment.

#Past #Depression #Father #Family

#Haiku #17Syllabes

#Haiku #17Syllabes

In the bustling city of Aetherion, where towering spires of technology kissed the heavens and innovation thrived beneath the watchful eyes of progress, there existed a secret that the mundane populace overlooked—a power as elusive as the shifting sands of the desert and as intoxicating as forbidden wine. Those who possessed this power walked a precarious line, teetering between illumination and madness, burdened with the weight of a ceaseless, inescapable introspection.

Kaelan was one such individual, a reluctant inheritor of the “Desert of Overthinking,” a gift—or curse—bestowed upon him not by choice but by the whims of fate. In his waking life, he was an enigma, a thoughtful soul cloaked in the ordinary trappings of a librarian, his presence as unassuming as the pages of the books he adored. Yet, beneath the veneer of an unremarkable façade, his mind was a tempest of endless contemplation, a vast desert where every grain of sand whispered possibilities untold.

Kaelan's power would make for rich storytelling, exploring themes like the mind's capacity for thought, the fine line between genius and madness, and the ethical ramifications of influencing others' mental states.

But, what is the “Desert of Overthinking”? I'm glad you ask! Let me layout the concept of this power with RPG terms.

“Desert of Overthinking” allows the individual to project or induce an overwhelming state of over-analysis in themselves or others, essentially trapping the target in an endless desert of thoughts where every grain of sand represents a different angle, possibility, or outcome of a situation.

Abilities:

Inducing Overthought:

• Single Target: The hero can focus this power on one individual, causing them to second-guess every action, decision, or even word they might say. This could be used to prevent enemies from taking immediate action, giving the hero time to escape or strategize.

• Area Effect: When activated in a crowd, it could lead to mass indecision, where everyone becomes so caught up in thinking about what to do next that they effectively become immobile or inactive.

Self-Reflection:

The user can enter this state themselves to explore every possible scenario of a future event or past decision. This could be used for planning, learning from hypothetical mistakes without making them, or deducing the best course of action through sheer exhaustive thought.

Memory Manipulation:

By navigating through the sands of thought, the hero might be able to uncover forgotten or repressed memories in themselves or others, using overthinking as a tool for deep introspection or interrogation.

Defense Mechanism:

When under mental attack or interrogation, the hero can retreat into this desert, making it incredibly difficult for any mental intrusion to extract useful information since every thought leads to another, creating a labyrinth of consciousness.

Creativity Boost:

While overthinking is often seen negatively, in controlled doses, it could lead to bursts of creativity or innovation, where the hero or others can come up with unique solutions or ideas by considering all possible angles.

Drawbacks:

• Mental Exhaustion: Frequent or prolonged use could lead to severe mental fatigue, stress, or even mental health issues for the user or their targets.

• Isolation: The hero might find themselves isolated as others might fear being around someone who can induce such overwhelming introspection.

• Loss of Action: There's a risk of becoming trapped in their own mind, leading to paralysis by analysis where the hero or others can't act due to over-analyzing.

• Ethical Concerns: Using this power to manipulate or incapacitate others could raise significant moral questions about free will and consent.

Character Development:

• Journey to Control: Kaelan's arc could involve learning to control this power, transitioning from someone who inadvertently causes chaos with their ability to someone who uses it with precision and care.

• Finding Balance: The hero might need to find activities or companions that help them switch off this power, like meditation, art, or a partner who has a grounding effect on them.

• Moral Dilemmas: Stories could explore situations where using the power is necessary but ethically ambiguous, forcing the hero to make tough choices about when it's justifiable to use such an invasive ability.

The prologue is just the beginning of a story you might think and develop yourself. It is a mirror, reflecting the infinite potential that lies within you. As you step out into the world, know that the story never truly ends; it continues with every choice, every moment of reflection, and every dream that dares to take flight.

Wander well, dear reader.

CONTENT WARNING: mental health struggles, me talking about elements of my newly unearthed PTSD, reference to witnessing suicide attempts

I'm just going to get straight to the point here. I'm starting up writing again. I have a lot of thoughts that sometimes I feel like writing into the ether. What better place than primarily, the Fediverse?

You've probably seen from the content warning already, but yes- I'm going to cover some stuff here. I promise I'm not going for the shock factor and to make you feel shitty, I'm genuinely just sharing- and because I want to join in with this modern day trend of actually fucking talking about our feelings and experiences for the benefit of looking out for one another.

Some background here before I get into it for those who don't know me: I spent 8 years as a senior nurse in a busy, overcrowded and understaffed inner city Accident & Emergency Department.

Recently, I had what you could probably call a “relapse”. Or a “trigger” if you will. There's this scene in the TV series Handmaid's Tale (no spoiler, promise) where someone is hanged. As I watched it happening, I felt an intense panic building up inside me, willing it to stop. “No turn it off, stop it, turn it off” I repeated, over and over until my scrambling and trembling hand found the remote to turn off the TV completely.

Hangings, while of course distressing even in fictional situations, wouldn't have usually affected me so much, as in- I was somewhat sadly using to dealing with them, whether that was dealing with the after effects of them or worse in this case, having immediate flashbacks of finding a patient in a cubicle hanging, still alive and with both of their wrists slashed. In the moment of scrambling to grab the remote control, I was at the same time reliving slashing at the makeshift bandage noose with my scissors as I tried to hold the patient up over my shoulders.

Actually, it’s only in writing this post that I’m reminded of another time I had an unexpected “trigger” flashback- which my brain had again conveniently forgotten. The TV series Stranger Things, (again, no spoilers coming up don’t worry) I was having a riot binge watching this with my other half. Totally fictional, out of this world stuff that is easy to disconnect from. All of a sudden, there’s a scene where there’s a baby crib on fire, and it is alluded that the baby is in there still. The scene only lasted all of 5 seconds, but it was enough to send me into a shaking panic and repeatedly urging for the TV to be turned off. I don’t need to detail what the flashback was.

How can TV series and Movies do a better job of warning people beyond “some scenes some viewers may find distressing”? Maybe that’s one for another day.

Since the most recent one, I've been coming to the realisation that I am no longer the same person that I used to be. Quite some time has passed since I last stepped foot off an A&E department and yes, as I am often asked, I miss it. A lot. So why did I leave? Maybe that is best left to another blog post some time, or perhaps, more pressingly, my book that I’m currently working on that spans a whole host of my career. Let me know if you’re ever interested.

Well, I miss the job- just not the situation we were in. That is, increasingly understaffed, underfunded and hideously overcrowded. I lost count of the amount of times I was dealing with a cardiac arrest in the middle of a waiting room or corridor, with no physical bed space anywhere at that moment in time to take said person- we just had to work on them on the floor while some poor bugger was kicked out into a temporary corridor space so we could use their bay full of life saving equipment.

Back to the point of this post- the scene that I saw that I did not expect to affect me the way it did. As a general rule, seeing things like that in perhaps, a game, or as a photo- doesn’t seem to have the same effect. The fact is, the scene in question seemed to so closely resemble what I experience for real that it literally was as simple as a trigger. The last time I felt something close to a trigger was a few years ago when I was in a crowded shop, and felt in increasing sense of panic as I felt as though any of of the people swarming around me was going to suddenly run up and thrust a floppy and unconscious child into my arms.

I should point out, I’m working through this. I’m doing ok. I know the people that will be reading this are most likely the kind of people who’d reach out and ask if I’m ok. Honestly, I’m obviously not fine, but I’ve got it in hand and am working through it. If anything, I’m coming to learn that this experience is actually somewhat humanising- that I’m now starting to lose that numbing, desensitising protective factor that my brain perhaps filtered everything I saw with- and actually for the most part has made me forget a lot of what I’ve seen, until that totally unexpected trigger happens.

Which leads me on to Content Warnings on the Fediverse. I used to find them a bit over the top, and feeling as though it felt like treading on eggshells whenever you posted. I still to some extent think content warnings have been over used, likely as a result of people on fedi over policing other people’s posts and creating a bit of a hostile and unwelcoming environment- however: I land on the side of the idea that it costs literally fuck all to be kind, and respectful. Content Warnings are NOT censoring, as some might shout until they’re blue in the face. It’s just a way of going “ey, just a heads up there’s probably some shit behind this you might not like, you sure?”. And that’s it. What’s the harm in that?

I for one, am learning to respect this way of thinking. It never came from a place of malice, but because I became so used to seeing a certain degree of grim things day in day out, I almost forgot that the majority of people are fortunate enough to have not experienced those things and that they may find them actually quite distressing. How do I know this? Well, because still, every once in a while, I become that person. That person I was before I set foot into the underworld of emergency nursing. That vulnerable, emotional, wearing my heart on my sleeve person. The one that didn’t find a fictional depiction of something on TV too close to home that I couldn’t function properly.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever become that person again.

Perhaps, one day, it’d be nice.

Look after each other, peeps. X

Hello World...

A few weeks ago, I started playing Crash Bandicoot 4: It’s About Time, one of the many products of that #retro #nostalgia wave that has now invaded every form of entertainment: from #videogames to music, from movies to fashion, makeup and, of course, furniture, comics, and practically any other product that can be sold by leveraging nostalgia.

To make this article understandable for everyone, I need to do a long premise. But I assure you, much like old thrillers, you’ll figure out the “killer” long before the book ends. Here, there’s no murderer—just a question: why do we crave so much for nostalgia if we won't actually recreate the experiences of the past?

“I liked you better before”

To explain the difficulty of today’s video games, we have to start from a long time ago—from the concept of nostalgia itself. Without diving into massive linguistic rants, nostalgia is a word that contains the meaning of “return” and “algia,” a compositional element.

The funny thing about words that include “algia” is that all of them, or almost all, denote pain: neuralgia, myalgia... So, in practice, nostalgia means “pain of returning.” The word itself carries a red flag (to immediately switch back to a more international vibe), signaling that we should think carefully about the type of emotion we’re experiencing.

Are we naturally drawn to the pain of remembering? Fantastic. Let’s move on.

Photo by Mitchell Orr on Unsplash

Nostalgia as a Marketing weapon

The “nostalgia effect” has been around for decades. Every generation looks back fondly on something: some miss the PlayStation 1, some the landline phone, some the telegraph, some the Pony Express, some even the bubonic plague (to sell plague doctor masks, of course). It's difficult to pinpoint when, how, and why nostalgia takes root, but everyone experiences it for certain aspects of their past—whether those aspects have improved or worsened.

This sentiment was already a reality years ago, but with the rise of the Millennial generation (also known as Gen Y) and the unstoppable evolution of the digital world, the generational lamenting for what was lost has grown stronger. More importantly, it has been weaponized by marketers like social media Rambos, wielding heavy machine guns.

The result? We now swim in a sludge of Philip K. Dick-esque dystopia and a calculated reassembly of generational lost loves, carefully packaged to serve as marketing bait.

Kids born in the '90s—who still haven’t realized they’re in their 30s—used to eat the “Twister,” a kind of abomination made of cardboard and food coloring that tasted like everything you’d find in a bottle of hydrochloric acid—minus the irritation part. Or at least, rarely, you know.

This particular product, which ignored any ethical manufacturing standards, was actually very popular among kids in the '80s and only made it to '90s kids thanks to a mix of a completely unregulated market, flashy colors made from what might as well have been radioactive waste, and, ultimately, the fact that generational product turnover was much slower than it is today.

Despite this, it’s extremely likely that kids born up until 1996 (that is, the “late” Gen Y) feel nostalgic for this stuff, even though it actually dates back to 1982—just a year after Gen Y officially started.

Unfortunately, the sociological concept of “generation” has been fading in recent years due to excessive meme culture, but it wasn’t created by accident.

People born between 1981 and 1994 share many life experiences that define them as a group, naturally with some exceptions. For marketers, this translates into an incredibly broad target audience: Italians aged 41 down to those who haven’t quite hit 30 yet all react in some way when they see “Super Twister” on an ice cream menu. Nowadays, it no longer looks like nuclear fission waste but rather like a normal, aesthetically pleasing fruit-flavored ice cream. Point remains, though.

Why not just create a new ice cream and play on the nostalgia of the “Twister”?
Because, in a way, it's already a market-established product. This isn't just about nostalgia; using a brand that lasted nearly twenty years—like the Twister—allows you to skip many steps in building a brand identity. Instead, you can tap into the most powerful weapon in marketing: personal resonance.

That’s why we have film adaptations of old comics, reboots, remakes, '90s and 2000s fashion trends making a comeback, and even home decor styles from forty years ago. We’re now at the point of re-remakes and re-reboots. Marketing is most powerful when it resonates deeply with individuals on a personal level.
Virtue signaling, nostalgia marketing, branding—these are all ways to create a connection between the product/company and the customer (or potential customer).

I'm not selling you a product, I'm telling you why you'll buy It

Paul Watzlawick, from the Palo Alto school, was a sociologist of near-fundamental importance. His concept of “it is impossible not to communicate” holds the same weight in social sciences as “I know that I know nothing” does in philosophy.
Marketing is not simply a tool for selling something; it is literally the manipulation of any communication for a purpose, which may or may not correspond to selling a product.

Marketers and industry professionals need to connect “intimately” with people as an organic response—made of flesh and nerves—to the human drive for socialization. The only way to build customer loyalty is to establish some kind of bond that persists beyond the first purchase and lasts until the next.

Whereas in the past, the goal was to create a desire to choose one product over another through imaginative slogans and honestly genius commercials (if you’re over 25, I’m sure you remember Nike’s The Cage ad, where footballers pulled off crazy tricks in a metal cage). Today, the way to sell something is by reminding you what you used to love, and making you want it again.

And I don’t even have to sell you anything—I'm just telling you why you’ll buy it.

In short: large-scale gaslighting.

“Okay, but can you talk about GAMES now?”

We already talked about it.

I just explained why Crash Bandicoot 4 exists, why we have remakes of games barely 20 years old. That’s why Final Fantasy has reached its 16th installment, even though the newer games barely resemble the original series.

With this axiom, we can also explain why some games are painfully easy while others are frustrating, impossible, and seemingly unenjoyable.

Nostalgia-driven strategies operate in two ways:
1. I give you the product as you remember it But with some improvements to “refresh” it—maybe by changing the ice cream wrapper (hint: the graphics) and the price (hint: the actual price). 2. I offer you a product very similar to what you remember But I slap a “2.0” label on it.

The clearest example? Pokémon.

Since it struggles to retain longtime players (who often don’t bring in much money), the formula gets reshuffled—not just to appeal to new players, but also to give longtime fans a little “consolation prize.” So what happens?

• Difficulty is lowered
  
• Creativity is reduced
  
• The game world is made more accessible
  

So much so that even a fifty-year-old parent—too lazy to even turn on a console—can still play alongside their child, drawn in by Pokémon’s nostalgia factor.

Small Digression: regarding simplification as a means to sell a video game to old/lazy adults rather than, as they want us to believe, “small children,” I refer you to this video: note how the guy's solutions to ensure his mother reaches the end of the game are the same criticisms aimed at recent games. Pre-made paths, zero difficulty, forced sequences, and removal of “confusing” content.

The Flip Side: making games “ChaLLeNgInG”

The other side of this ugly coin is, instead, making the game “challenging.”
Kids who played Crash Bandicoot back in the day remember it as a hard game. But after 20 years of gaming experience, would they still find it difficult?
The answer doesn’t matter. The goal is to keep players glued to the screen.

So, the final product of Crash Bandicoot 4 is: a game that's moderately easy to complete**, but nearly impossible to 100%. That way, it satisfies both casual gamers who just want another Crash Bandicoot game and die-hard fans willing to sink 30 hours into clearing a single level perfectly, collecting every gem, and nailing every time trial relic.

Despite these fence-sitting strategies—which help in marketing—the final product will be nothing more than a watered-down rip-off of the original material.

Thus, Crash Bandicoot 4 feels like a fan game rather than a real sequel. The Bomberman reboot looks like a child’s fever dream turned into a video game. And we won’t even talk about franchises like Duke Nukem or Sonic, because this blog should be as PG-13 as possible, so I should avoid profanity.

Of course, let’s be clear: there are remakes and reboots that stay true to the original material. Examples? Tomb Raider, Doom.

But these are often “safe bet” franchises—ones that get proper care simply because they’re guaranteed successes. Even with these games, though, there’s still a fence-sitting attitude. No matter how much effort someone involved in the game puts into recreating the original feel, they'll always push long-time fans to say the dreaded phrase:

“Sure, but it’s just not the same as when I played it as a kid...”

Cue the tears. Curtains close.

Let's talk about this on the Mastodon post page: https://gamerstavern.online/@Gnagnao/113953391959507273

Step 1: Master the Art of Procrastination

Remember: tomorrow is always the best day to start anything. Why do today what you can postpone until next week, next month, or preferably never? Pro tip: Set at least 17 alarms every morning and ignore them all.

Step 2: Perfect the “Floordrobe”

Closets and drawers are overrated. Your floor is a perfectly valid storage solution for clothes, books, and important documents. Create an archaeological layer system – the deeper the layer, the longer it's been there. Bonus points if you forget what's at the bottom!

Step 3: Embrace Financial Chaos

Keep all your receipts, but make sure to crumple them up and distribute them randomly throughout your house. When tax season comes, enjoy the thrill of the hunt! For extra excitement, never check your bank balance – let every purchase be a surprise.

Step 4: Master Time Mismanagement

Schedule important meetings for the same time. Double-book yourself constantly. When someone asks if you're free next Thursday, always say yes without checking. Remember: calendars are just suggestions, and time is a social construct anyway.

Step 5: Perfect Your Excuse Arsenal

Develop a comprehensive list of creative excuses. “My pet goldfish needed emotional support” is always a classic. “I was abducted by aliens, but they had terrible WiFi” works too. The more outlandish, the better!

Step 6: Dietary Excellence

Eat breakfast for dinner and dinner for breakfast. Better yet, forget meals entirely and survive on random snacks found in the back of your cupboard. That expired protein bar from 2019? It's probably fine.

Advanced Tips for the Committed Chaos Enthusiast

• Name all your files “final_final_FINAL_v2_REALLY_FINAL.doc”
  
• Keep your phone permanently at 1% battery
  
• Respond to all emails exactly 3 weeks late, always starting with “Sorry for the delayed response!”
  
  

Disclaimer: Following this guide may result in unexpected organization and productivity as your life spirals so far into chaos that it somehow loops back around to order. The author takes no responsibility for accidental success in life.